Fabulous Week

Well ... Thanksgiving is over. The turkey is not all gone yet, but I don't think I can eat any more of that bird. Seriously -- I am over turkey for a while. We spent the first half of the week with some fabulous friends at Dumont Dunes. Then we came back to a fabulous Thanksgiving feast put on by Ryan's mom. Today we went to the Santa Paula tree farm and picked a Christmas Tree for my dad's house. And tonight we finished off the week by ushering in some Christmas spirit by making sugar cookies : )

Christmas

I am usually irritated when I walk into a store just one day after our Halloween costumes have been put away and already the Christmas candy is out, along with all of the other garb that comes with holiday consumerism. Sage and Aspen, on the other hand, are just beside themselves with joy. What child wouldn't be excited? Giant candy canes? Reindeers? SANTA?? Sage will then say to me, "But Santa is just pretend, right mom?" "Right," I say. Then we usually talk about the real reason for Christmas, which then leads to some sort of discussion about baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph getting married, and usually ends with Sage wondering when she will get married and have kids. It's a very involved discussion. Then I had to ask myself: How can I be irritated with holiday consumerism which should reminds me of Jesus and the big celebration to come on December 25th? Shouldn't I be excited about Jesus' birth year-round? Heck, in front of our Von's parking lot a manger is displayed every year. Should I say, "No, sorry, it's too early to put those decorations out right now." Anyhow, this year I have really enjoyed all of the decorations being out early because it has sparked many a conversation between Sage and I regarding the real reason for the Christmas and that to me is pretty priceless.

Learning

I was at my sister's house during the summer and she was making eggs. I noticed that prior to cracking the eggs, she lays down a paper towel, and then after she cracks the eggs she places the shells on the paper towel, wraps them up and tosses them in the trash. I don't know why but it just seemed like a genius thing to do. I am always dripping egg whites on the counter tops on the way to the trashcan (and then have to whip out the Clorox bleach to clean it up). Or sometimes I put the egg shells back into the egg carton ... but that can't be good, right? Anyhow, the paper towel method works for me now.

In other breaking news .... Aspen climbed out of her crib 2X and Sage has been asking every other hour when Thanksgiving will be over so we can decorate the house for Christmas.

First Sewing Project

Here they are! Sage's long-awaited PJ Pants : )

Frugal Snob

I am always fascinated by how different each and every person is from another. What might bother or annoy me humors another. What might seem beautiful to me is harmful to another's eyes.
So ... what are my idiosyncrasies?

On the frugal side would be my make-up. I have had the same powder for almost 3 years and it was actually given to me by someone. The lid of the powder container cracked, so I put the container in a zip-lock bag. My lip-liner is also about 2 years old and I just used up 1 of the 2 eye-brow pencils that I have ... never mind the fact that I sharpened that pencil down to it's last bit of usefulness. Make-up just isn't that important to me.
But, I am a shoe snob. This has come and gone in waves. I went from best dressed in High School to only wearing professional garb for my corporate job when I first got married. I didn't care what my pumps looked like, as long as they were cheap! But post-kids my love-of-shoes is returning. Still, I try to find the best brands at the best price. But I don't just want to buy the cheapest shoe anymore, especially since I want the pair of shoes to last a few years (or more). And this requires me to dish out a few more bucks than normal. I care about my shoes!

So, those are some of my funks ... care to share yours?

Halloween!

Another fabulous Halloween! Still, I have to question the Day itself ... costumes, candy, sugar-overdoses, etc. Our church put on a Harvest Fest which we were glad to be part of. It's just another way to fellowship with people, even if we are eating Butterfingers instead of bread.

If I were homeless ...

Darren (my bro-in-law) has been taking a homeless guy out to dinner during his breaks at work. After a fabulous meal at Carl's Jr., the guy asked Darren if he had any money to "buy booze." Darren said, "Sure," and handed him $5 bucks. My first response, which sort of surprised me, was, If I were homeless I would want to drink too. I am definitely one of those people who used to think that I couldn't give money to people begging or standing on street corners because they were just going to go by alcohol with it ... and that was just not good! Without Christ where does any warmth or hope come from for the homeless population who curl up on a park benches, cover up with newspapers and go to bed? For them it most likely comes in the form of a bottle which might even warm their insides and numb the pain of being homeless and having no where to go. Without Christ and without a roof over my head I think I would hit the bottle too. Too often I think I have judged first before empathizing and seeking to understand why someone is at a certain crossroads in life (i.e. homeless). I have judged the label on the bottle before daring to really try the liquid content. If a homeless person ever asks me for money to "buy booze," I hope that I have the courage to sit down with him and ask why he wants booze in the first place and then maybe even share a beer with the guy. Now that would be revolutionary (for me, at least).

Paper Plates Vs. The real thing

So ... we use paper plates -- a lot of them. I think we use paper plates for every meal. There are various reasons for this, one of them being that paper plates = less dishes = happier wife and mom. But, I have to ask the question, is this good for the environment? What is the greater cost, more waste from paper products or the amount of electricity and water used to clean real plates?

Fire Updates

This website lists all the fires currently burning, what counties affected, number of evacuations, etc. It also gives the name of each fire so you can search for updates on the Internet if needed. Ryan's uncle lives in Escondido and still does not know whether his house is standing or not. Be praying for miraculous wind shifts and a drop in temperature to combat these fires! Be praying also for the firefighters and their families.

http://www.nifc.gov/fire_info/nfn.htm

Lazy Day

We haven't had one of these in a while. After church we had a little engagement party for Darren & Kate and then after the kids took naps we hung out and kept updated on the Malibu fire and watched a movie. We didn't go outside because the air conditions didn't seem great, but being confined to the house was sort of nice. It just felt good to not have to be anywhere for an entire afternoon. And now the kids have gone to bed for the night and we get to watch a movie that we have been trying to watch all week, Transformers. Lazy days are a requirement to living sane lives : )

I'm thinking of ...

Do you ever play the "I'm thinking of," game? It goes something like this .... (we were outside while playing this)

Me: I'm thinking of something that is red and has white windows ...
Sage: It's a barn!
Me: Right!
Sage: Okay, I'm thinking of something that is purple and it's a circle with a hole in the middle.
Me: (I see the hula hoop) Is it a hula hoop?
Sage: No ...
Me: Oh, okay then ... is it hard?
Sage: Yes
Me: Is it outside?
Sage: Yes
Me: ?? (there's nothing else outside that is purple)
Sage: (smiling) It's the hula hoop mom. I was just kidding with you.

The Resurrection

A while ago someone asked Sage what her daddy did (for work) and she said, "He plays!" This is actually a pretty accurate description considering we usually only see Ryan at church during the game and song-worship portion of youth group. So, last night I explained to her that after the songs are over (after we leave to go home and go to bed) Ryan teaches the kids about Jesus and also encourages the kids to be more like Jesus. Fast forward a few minutes later in the conversation and Sage and I were somehow discussing how some people like Jesus and some people don't ...

Sage: But, some people didn't like Jesus and so he died.
Me: You are right, Jesus died.
Sage: But then he rose again!
Me: (super duper proud mom!) You are right Sage! Jesus rose again.
Sage: Well, there was probably a wand and someone probably waved it over Jesus and then he came alive.

I wanted to start cracking up ... but she was so sincere in her add-on to the story. I gently explained that wands are just pretend and don't even work when Dora uses them on T.V. I went on to say that it was God who rose Jesus because He is so powerful. Not sure if she got it but she didn't mention the wand again. Needless to say, this story will be told for many a generation to come!

Moldy Bread

How many times have I gone to make some toast only to find that the bread was moldy? My first inclination is to be irritated because I was probably looking forward to a piece of toast and now I would have to switch to some other non-molded food. I am not quite sure who I am irritated at, though. Am I irritated with the bread? Am I irritated at the store from where I bought the bread? Maybe I should be irritated with myself for overbuying in the first place. We live in abundance. Our refrigerators can house a week's worth of food which is good, but is it? How often do I forget what is in my fridge only to find week-old leftovers stuffed in the back corner ... molded? I recently read that we should keep a log of what is in our freezers. In order to do this I had to go through my freezer ... that was interesting. So, what's in your freezer and do you have any moldy bread in your house?

Balance

Sewing, or rather, learning to sew, has been a wonderful addition to my life. I no longer have to throw away items that, "if I only knew how to sew," could have otherwise been saved. Like Sage's toy stroller, for instance. It came with a seat cover and eventually, no doubt from Aspen trying to sit in it, the straps broke off. For months the kids have been playing with an empty toy stroller. That's kind of funny all on its own. But now that I have some basic sewing skills I was actually able to fix it. And now comes the hard part -- balance. How do I choose projects that won't cost more in time and money then just going to Ross and picking out a toddler dress on clearance -- then marked down 50% more?? I am not even a good enough sewer to know how long it will take me to put together a pair of pajama pants from a pattern. I think I saw a 2-pack of fleece pajama pants (super cute) from Costco which were priced at $12. So Ryan told me I better be able to make Sage's pajama pants for less than $6.
Well ... a couple of yards of pink and purple pegasus material later, plus some elastic and thread put the project costs well over $6. But Sage is so excited about her "pegasus pants" which definitely makes the project worth it. Like anything, balance will be the key to this hobby lasting.

Bowling

Tonight we went bowling with some friends from our church. I think we all got some strikes at some point, but in between there was Ryan trying to get the fastest bowling speed and Gina doing her jump-rope cheers. We laughed a lot at ourselves and at each other. My arm is really tired now ... I am sure to be sore tomorrow.
p.s. I must brag that in the 3rd game I bowled a 154 -- an all-time personal record.

Ugly Boots

Sage: Mom, I'm going to put on my ugly boots.
Me: Huh? Ugly boots?
Sage: Yeah, my ugly boots.
Me: (chuckle, chuckle). Sage, go show daddy your ugly boots.
Dad: Ugly boots, huh? How about Ugg Boots?

Slacker

So I have been a serious slacker in the blogging business. My excuse is the Beth Moore study that we are going through at my church. It (and God too) has invaded my life. It's a good thing. I am learning a ton. Hey, maybe I could invite Beth over to help me fold the 5 loads of laundry on my couch ... hee hee ... or finish all of the sewing projects I have floating around in my mind, or, or, or, etc. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matt 6:34. This verse has brought me much comfort lately. I actually even memorized it. The laundry will get folded, the bathroom will get clean and I will someday make a skort (don't laugh Michaela!) and a skirt for Sage! But right now I am going to go and spend some quality with my husband : )

Whatever Works

So I have to confess that I think about cleaning our bathroom a whole lot more than any cleaning actually occurs. Usually I wait until I absolutely can't stand it anymore and then I dive in and an hour or so later a clean bathroom emerges. As I was in our dirty bathroom the other night I had just enough time to clear the clutter off the counter and wipe it off with a wet washcloth. Not disinfected, I know, but it looked better. But then I thought, what if I invested in some of those disinfecting/cleaning wipes so that when I get a free moment I could just wipe down the counters, sink, etc.? Genius! I know it's not the traditional way of cleaning, and it's not the cheapest, but I actually think the bathrooms will stay cleaner this way. So, the wipes work for me, what works for you?

A Poem

While on our walk today Sage was trying to say something to me ... at first I thought she said, "I'm cute." Then I thought I heard, "I'm free." After some frustration, Sage pulled her sunshade back (on the jogger) and yelled,"I'm PEACE! That means I am happy." At first I started to explain that we don't really use the word "peace" like that, but then I started to think that it was a pretty fun statement. And then I started to think that it sounded like a pretty good poem.

First Poem
by Sage, age 3

I'm
Peace

Just have to laugh

This week has been the week of late nights. It started with one night staying up too late watching a show or blogging or emailing and then it turned into 4 nights in a row and then mom is tired and has no patience -- duh! Get some sleep!
So, despite going to bed late (again) last night, I was determined to go to the gym this morning and get back on track -- whatever that means. I was out the door by 6:30 a.m. . Not bad, but I didn't make any coffee to drink and I forgot the iPod, but, oh well, off I go. I turned the corner into the gym parking lot, all the while noticing there weren't any cars around. Hm ... this is odd. I parked my car and made my way to the gym's front door. There was a sign and it read, "We will not be opening the gym until 8:00 a.m. on 9/14 due to electrical problems." Are you kidding me? I literally laughed out loud -- at myself, at the situation, at how tired I was, at the fact that I could have been home sleeping. So, tonight I am going to bed early and sleeping in (until the kids wake up, that is)!

Nine Eleven

Today is 9/11. The day, 6 years ago, that some 3,000 people died from the direct actions of 19 men. 19 men killed 3,000 people ...

My radio alarm clock went off at its normal time of 6:30 a.m. I was still half-asleep but the DJs on the radio seemed frantic and worried. "The World Trade Center has been attacked," is all I heard. Was I still asleep? After Ryan and I recognized what was going on we rushed to the television. The images of the burning buildings are still right there in my mind. How much more so are they in the minds of those who lost a loved one on this very sad day?

Ryan reminded me just this morning that it was 9/11 and in the busyness of my day I didn't think about it until I finally sat down tonight and saw the date as it appears on a blog after someone posts a comment ... September 11, 2007. Oh, that's right, it's 9/11. Ryan said they were showing images from the burning twin-towers on the news this morning. We weren't sure if that was the best way to memorialize the day ... I am sort of speechless about this topic. It just makes me sad to think of the many lives lost because of hatred, greed and sin. And it also reminds of just how long we have been at war ... 6 years ... and so many more lives have been lost, on both sides of the battle field. Oh, how God must be crying over our weak attempt to be powerful and mighty and #1.

Good Habits

I finally did it! I went to the store and used my re-usable grocery bag. I have about 10 of them from trips to TJ's or Von's, but I purchased those the same time I bought my groceries, so that was a no-brainer. This time I had to put the bags in my car and then remember to get them out of the car when I got to the store. And I did it! I hope I can make a habit out of this.

Translating Seeds

A student from a local boarding school has been staying with us for the past 9 days. She goes back to school tomorrow, but today she got to experience church for the first time (I think). She speaks pretty good English and can read almost anything, but that wasn't really the issue. We were singing praise songs (not hymns) and I was translating what they meant (or I was trying my best to). Such words that we take for granted knowing like, heaven, praise, reign, almighty, etc, were some of the few that I was attempting to explain. I can enjoy the songs only because I know their meaning, intent and melody. To an outsider they must appear ... um ... confusing and maybe even wacky. So, I want to think that some seeds were planted in the translation process, but in my finite brain I am thinking, "Yeah right!" Thankfully God is bigger than me and my feeble attempt to translate his glory to a young girl, who before this morning, didn't even know heaven existed.

Blogging & The Heat

I think there is a correlation between blogging and the heat. Um ... let's see ... when it's hot, people don't blog. That is my genius conclusion today. It is hot and I finally decided to open up the computer only to see that the postings are only crawling in at a pace of maybe 2/day. I know why. I have no energy to sit and type about how hot it is. Well, I guess I have some time.

Why I love blogging ...

I love to write. As mentioned in my very first blog, I have kept a journal since the young age of 8. So, naturally I love blogging because I love to write. But blogging has become much more for me. With kids running around and a household to manage there isn't a lot of time to pick up the phone and chat with friends. But, I can log onto my computer and see what all of my friends are up to, and they can comment on my happenings and I on theirs and poof! We are connected! I love the sharing that occurs within the blogging world. From recipes to toddler troubles, we seem to cover all of it. Blogging is my daily adult conversation, which as we know, is very important when you have little ones running around and Dora songs stuck in your head. So, here's to blogging (hold up whatever glass is near you -- be it a 12pm Martini or a sticky-rimmed sippy cup). Cheers! Cheers!

Unicorns

Lost

Yeah! We finished watching the 2007 season of Lost. Last summer Ryan had downloaded the 2006 season onto his computer and we got hooked. So we decided to do the same thing this summer. We had a couple of marathon nights ... watching more than 2 episodes in a row and going to bed way past the time that our old-parent bodies allow. And last night we finished off the season by watching 4 episodes in a row! It, of course, ended in a cliffhanger, but that was to be expected. We are even tempted to watch the first episode when it airs in January 2008. But Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives will be going strong by then, so we will probably just have to wait. What would we do without T.V.? I know, I know, we would all be fine, but it's still fun to keep up on all of these fictional characters with fun and interesting fictional lives.

More happy thoughts...

While I was waiting for my dentist appointment this morning I read something interesting about our happiness. The author of the article I was reading commented that the state of happiness lasts longer when we share our happy events with others. At first I was like, huh? And then all of my blogging friends came into mind ... I think we share a lot of joy within the blogging world. When funny things happen, we jot them down as best we can and click "publish post," and make others smile, and no doubt, ourselves too. So keep passing along the joy : )

Laughter

Laughter heals. I am sure somebody has made that statement before. And if not, I am going to make it here. This past week we have been through a rollercoaster of emotions. Our church is in somewhat of a broken state. But God is prevailing. A week ago we were all crying. Yesterday at church we laughed -- a lot! It felt good to laugh. The pain and lasting effects of regretted actions are still there, but through laughter and God's amazing grace the healing process has begun. What an amazing God we serve who created humans to have the ability to feel such pain and such joy all within days of each other.

Hume Lake

I love being up here at Hume Lake. Maybe it's all the beautiful pine trees and that wonderful pine tree smell. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have to cook or clean for the week. Maybe it's seeing 1000+ students standing during chapel, raising their hand to God in praise. Maybe it's late night talks with Sage ....

Sage: Mommy, how is daddy duck doing (back home) ?
Mom: Good, I think.
Sage: Mommy, how is mommy duck doing with Jesus? (she died a while back)
Mom (smiling in the dark): Good, I think.
Sage: I just love Jesus Mom. I love to talk to him ... to tell Him stories ...

Maybe I love Hume Lake because it's a chance to relax and see and hear God everywhere and marvel at His amazing grace. Or maybe I love being at Hume Lake because the kids go to bed so late that we get to sleep in!! I guess it's all of the above. Needless to say, we are having a wonderful time up here.

Pictures

I know there is a reason we moms and dads take so many pictures. It is to capture the moments we don't want to forget, and sadly, I have probably forgotten so many already. I have recently been uploading our pictures onto Flickr so if my computer crashes at least they will be "somewhere" in cyberspace. As I was uploading some old pictures I couldn't help but smile at some of them ....

Darren & Aspen, July 2007 (Aspen 18 mos old)

Darren & Sage, March 2005 (Sage 9 months)

Day 7 & Tired (but doing good)

Ryan has been gone a week from tomorrow and we have been keeping busy but now I am just tired. I got back from L.A. today and the girls and I declared it a Movie Night. We put blankets and pillows on the floor, I made popcorn and we watched Nemo (minus the scary parts). This morning I was toting Aspen around on my hip and I asked, "Where did Aspen go?" I think mommy needs to get some Zzzzz. But all is well. I just need a night of good sleep : )

Goodbye Thumper

My mom in-law has to put her horse Thumper to sleep today. He is 30 years old and has lived a full life. And we know that and yet death is so final and so hard to accept. Sage says that Thumper is going to be with Jesus. We said our goodbyes the other day. Thumper is the first horse that Sage touched (as an infant) and then rode as a toddler. We are sorry for this loss.

World Travelers

Ryan and his team are off to Hungary tomorrow to lead camp for missionary kids. He will be gone for 10 days. Tomorrow I am off on a bit of my own world traveling ... okay, so I can't call myself a world traveler, but packing up the kids and driving a couple of hours south (through L.A. traffic) definitely feels like a lot of work, so I am going to pat myself on the back there. Hopefully the busy schedule that I have planned out doesn't exhaust myself or the kiddos. Bon Voyage!

A good argument.

Sage is always coming up with good arguments. I ask her to do one thing and she explains why she doesn't need to do it, or why Aspen should do it, or better yet, why I should do it. Sometimes I even have to laugh and say, "Well, I guess you are kinda right." Which leads me to the question: Where do we draw the line between squashing our kids' sense of arguing and problem solving and letting them run the house? Sometimes I just want to be able to ask my kids to do something without having to explain it or without getting some certain toddlers advice on how it could be done better. Lately I have been trying to listen to the arguments first instead of just saying, "No buts." "But, but, but Mom!" It's really hard though, especially when you are trying to get out of the house and nothing is going right. My motto this morning was, "Listen, think, then speak."

Camping

I have camped probably since before I was born. It's just how our family vacationed all growing up. So, to Ryan's great surprise, I didn't know where to put the leveling boards for the trailer tires (in front of the tires or in back) and I wasn't much help with any of the other "setting up the trailer" stuff. I also didn't even realize that my dad's trailer (we borrowed it) didn't have a stove. I had always envisioned one, and maybe they talked about getting one, but alas, there we were at dinner time, with two frozen pizzas and only a gas range to cook them. So, we created out own stove with some tinfoil and a frying pan. Then it started to smell like burnt popcorn ... We were able to save one of the pizzas, but Ryan unhooked the truck and drove to get us some real dinner -- Taco Bell! Hahaha. Despite the few hiccups we really had a fabulous time. And the kids were being watched by grandparents, so what little hiccups we had were really nothing at all but a good laugh and will be great memories to laugh at later.

Walking & Trash

Lately Sage has started to walk with me as opposed to sitting in the jogger, consuming snacks and water. It all started last week when I asked her if she wanted to wear her running shoes and walk on the bike bath too. She excitedly got her running shoes on and off we went. To my surprise, she walked about 1 mile. And, she would have walked further except I told her it might be a good idea if she took a break and drank some water. During our walk we saw lots of trash scattered on the sides of the path. I noticed it all but walked past it.
Then Sage and I went on a walk again. This time, however, we not only noticed trash, but we picked some of it up. There was a huge rectangular box that we were able to fit into the jogger and bring home to our recycle bin. Next time, we discussed, we need to bring bags so we can pick up more trash.

Julie Barnhill, author of She's Gonna Blow, says,

The combination of our parental words, actions, and deeds will affect their[our kids'] perception of their heavenly Father -the Master Builder - over the course of their entire lives.

I ask Sage to pick up her own trash at home all of the time. We talk about how it's not "OK" to litter and throw snack bags on the ground when we are finished eating the goldfish. This time it was my turn to pick up some trash and be an example to my kids. And I have to say that it doesn't come naturally -- this picking up trash that isn't even mine stuff. It interrupts my run, gets my hands dirty and adds time to an outing that already takes about 1 hr. Sob. Sob. Sob. As my uncle would say, "Do you want some french-Cries with your Whaaaaamburger?" Time to clean up God's earth, one piece of dirty trash at a time.

Laundry

Everyone seems to be talking about laundry lately so I guess I should too. It's (the laundry, that is) everywhere! I told Christine that I just put 4 loads away today but I still have to put away all of our clean clothes, still packed in our bags, from our lake trip. One bag at a time.

On the kid side of things ....

Aspen said,"Wow," the other day and Sage told me (after I had asked her numerous times to do something), "Gosh mom, don't freak out!" Don't freak out? Where on earth did she learn that? Me.

Lake San Antonio

Our annual family vacation to Lake San Antonio was wonderful. It's weird to plan for something for so long and then it's all over. That's just how vacations are I guess. Enjoy the pics.

Just because it's funny ....

Sage had her princess shoes on today and told me that she got married yesterday. When I asked who she got married to she said, "I got married to Aspen when she was a boy."

Happy 4th!

Just some fun picks from our ever-so-wonderful local parade : ) We also ate at the pancake breakfast sponsored by Teen Challenge this morning. Living in a small town is just too much fun. And of course we saw a ton of people we hadn't seen in a long time which is always fun. It was hot though. But I guess it wouldn't be the same if everyone couldn't complain about the heat.

We finished off the evening with a fabulous BBQ and then we watched fireworks from the roof of our house with some close friends and family. Sage was a little frightened at first by the "popping" noises coming from the fireworks, but in no time she was enjoying them and commenting with "Ooooos" and "Ahhhhs."

p.s. Aspen was sleeping during the fireworks ... no roof time for the little one : )

Taxes & Teeth

I was never really bothered by April 15th until we moved back to Ojai 3 years ago. It seems that every year we owe something to the tune of a couple 1k's ... I won't bore you with all of the details and I think (I think) that we have straightened everything out with our wonderful tax consultant, and might not have to pay out this year. But, you know what? There is always something else. And for us, it is teeth. Or better said, our bad teeth. Sage wracked in 4 cavities this year (okay - total parent guilt here), Ryan came in second with two cavities and 1 wisdom tooth that was so fargone that they opted to pull it, and me, I came in first with yet another cavity, and a possible root canal (although we are hoping and praying for only a crown). Amazingly God always provides for these unforeseen expenditures ... but my mind day dreams of all the other stuff we could have bought ... but then Ryan quickly interrupts my day dreaming to remind me that I wouldn't have spent the money anyway since I am a saver. "Oh, I guess you are right," I tell him. Oh well, it's all God's money anyway, right?

Endorphins & Caffeine

Before I go to the gym I usually guzzle some coffee to get my brain and body up to speed and up to the task. This makes for some pretty amazing thoughts while I am at the gym, pumping iron. During that short 45min. I have usually started a couple of businesses, mentally written all of my thank you notes and thought of a gazillion more things to put on my "to-do" list. Lately I have tried to remember a few of these great ideas and jot them down when I get in the car. Because, you guessed it, as soon as I get home and the endorphins fizzle and the caffeine wears off, those ideas seem, well, kind of silly. But, there was one idea that popped into my head last Friday and that was to take a sewing class at our local community college. I got the go-ahead from Ryan and I even have a friend who might take the class with me. I am actually pretty excited and it actually might even happen. All this to say, drink some coffee before your next workout. You never know what new ideas might pop into your head.

It's Official

Our summer bedtime, (and by "our" I mean our kids' bedtime) is officially now 9pm. What? How is that possible? I don't know ... maybe it's the late sunsets or the various activities we are attending ... or maybe it's just how it is in the summer. At least the kids are sleeping in later than normal so we get to "sleep-in" until 7:15 a.m.!

Nothing Cuter

There's nothing cuter than ....

... peeking into the living room and seeing the girls sitting around Ryan with their little toes reaching out to be painted ... and then Ryan painting them!

... peeking again into the living room to see Ryan and the girls playing baseball on the Wii. Sage was hitting homers and Aspen was running bases!

Busy Bees

I thought the summer was going to be slow and relaxing. I don't think we have stopped a second since a few weeks ago ... and the piles (4 of them) of clean clothes in my bedroom are the proof! At least we have clean clothes. Now off to have more fun in the sun.

Sippy Cups

What is the shelf-life of a sippy cup? I had a cupboard full of infant bottles that I could finally clear away and replace with all of our sippy cups (which usually dry and and sit on our counter). But as I was putting them away I was just wondering how long I should actually keep these things around. I admit that I have bleached the heck out of some of them in an attempt to revive them, I have scrubbed some with toothbrushes and others have been fated to the trashcan because there was no going back, if you know what I mean. I am feeling this itch to toss all the spill-proof cups we have and go out and buy new ones, but do I need to?

Death

As a child I used to fear and envision my parents dying. My heart would race, my ears would ring and my eyes would well up with tears over a death that hadn't even occurred and yet it felt so real.
Tonight Sage and I conversed about death, getting old and being buried under trees (dogs). Of course, it started out innocent -- well, innocent enough. But by the end of the conversation she was in tears, gripping me, pleading, "But, mommy, I don't want you to die because I love you so much and I would miss you!" She did tell me through her tears that at least I would be with Jesus. I tried to comfort her and explain that mommy is here now. Then, after 10 minutes or so, I gently steered the conversation toward a happier topic. That lasted a few seconds and then it was Aspen who was going to be sad when Sage died because Sage is going to get old and die because we die when we get old. I finally held her tightly and decided we needed to pray and have a conversation with Jesus about death.
Dear Jesus, thank you that we are living today and we pray that we get to be part of each others lives for a really long time. Please keep us safe and help us to sleep well tonight and not have bad dreams. Amen.

Sage's heart raced and the tears flowed over a death that has not yet occurred. And I held her tight and told her over and over again that mommy is here right now, and prayed, in my own quiet thoughts, for God to allow to be around to see her accept her high school diploma, see her walk down the aisle to the man she will marry and be around to cuddle the babies she might one day have. Heavy is the heart of a mom, especially on days like this one.

Fantastic!

I thought of some amazing things to write about today. So amazing that I forget all of them. At least I didn't forget that Sage's word of the day was Fantastic, and she said it two times and with much enthusiasm, I must add.

PK's

Sage and Aspen enjoyed themselves in their "doughnuts" tonight at youth group. It's great to be a PK.

Happy Birthday Sage!

The party was actually pretty perfect. And I am not even complimenting myself here -- although those double-decker cupcakes were pretty fabulous. The kids played well, the weather was great, everyone was mellow, no scrapes, no fighting over swings (no swings at the park - go figure). So ...Sage is now 3 and quite the big girl these days. Lately she is very into getting dolled up with her dress-up necklaces and earrings and announcing herself as "princess Sage" when she enters the room. All the while her hair is a crazy mess and she has lunch crumbs still stuck to her shirt. It's a beautiful sight. Enjoy the pictures from the party.

Change

I don't know why it took me so long to start using Google Reader (www.google.com/reader) It is an amazing tool that is free, highly efficient and easy to use. Ryan kept telling me to switch and I kept making excuses as to why I needed to waste time loading all of the blogsites that I frequent, only to find out that they (the authors) had not posted anything new. Now I just click on Google Reader and ... well, you need to sign up for yourself to get the full experience. Or wait 10 years like I did and miss out. Your choice.

Homemaker

Last night Sage was missing her daddy and was asking his whereabouts and I explained that daddy was working. Then she thought for a few minutes and asked, "Where do you work Mama?" I was a little caught off guard since this is the first time she has asked me this. "Well," I start to answer, "um ... mommy works in our house and takes care of you girls, and ..." I couldn't think of anything else to say after that. Is there a correct stay-at-home mom definition?

A homemaker is a person whose prime occupation is to care for their family and/or home; the term is originally an Americanism, and while it has entered mainstream English, it is not in common usage outside the U.S. Finding a term to describe the modern man or woman who has left the paid workforce to care for their family is problematic. The term homemaker is used in preference to either housewife or househusband because it is inclusive, defines the role in terms of activities, rather than relation to another, and is independent of marital status.
-Wikipedia.com

When I was first dating Ryan I remember having many discussions about the role of a woman in the household. I could never visualize myself staying home with little kids, so I fought his ideal and stated that I would be the one bringing home the bacon. Looking back I can see that I must have looked down upon the role of a mother who chooses to stay home with her kids. Obviously I think much differently now that I have two little munchkins of my own.
Still, it seems like there is such a huge divide between the working mom and the stay-at-home-mom. It's like we are on different teams or something. We growl at each other and pass judgments like, "If she were home more often then her kids would behave better, "or, "All that those stay-at-home moms talk about are poopy diapers and time-outs." Even worse is when mom's on the same team pass judgment upon one another.
The role of a mom is complicated and specific to that woman, her children, her husband, her extended family, and so on and so forth. I guess that means that each us need to make up our very own definition of who we are and what our responsibilities involve. These general descriptions just don't do it. I have yet to write my own. What about you?

Memorial Day

I usually get all the 3-day weekend holidays/memorials confused. Maybe this is because I have never actually celebrated the true meaning of the day or done anything to remember those who have served and died for our country. This sounds bad, I know, but sometimes the truth isn't all that pretty. So, what's a person to do when they need to know something? Google it. So that's what I did and found out some pretty cool facts about Memorial Day:

• First observed on May 30, 1868
• Now celebrated on the last Monday in May in most states
• A day to honor those who have died serving our nation
• A National Moment of Remembrance asks us to informally observe this day in our own way at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day

Americans have opened nearly 1,000 new graves to bury U.S. troops killed in Iraq since Memorial Day a year ago. The figure is telling _ and expected to rise in coming months.

- STEVEN R. HURST , May 27, 2007

So, put your corn-on-the-cob down at 3 p.m. tomorrow and just think, for a moment, or even seconds, of the many lives lost and the many families who have been affected by those lost lives.

Fresh New Start

Wow, I feel like I went clothes shopping or something. I upgraded my templates through Blogger and have been given the freedom to edit many things about my blog that didn't used to be so easy. Ryan messes with all of that HTML stuff and I just ask him questions and become very confused. So, all this to say, it was time for a fresh look and I am glad it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Happy blogging.

Update: Okay, so I thought I was totally happy with my changes, but I think I like the squished look over the stretched look. Ryan said it was too hard to read the stretched look. Hopefully I will keep this look for a while ....

Why?

"Why" is such a great word. Think about it. It bridges the gap between not knowing and knowing. Between confusion and answers. I guess Ryan used this word insistently until he was 14 or 15. That's what he told me anyway when I asked him how long he thought the "why" stage would last.

Sage entered the "why" stage a few weeks ago. It was pretty much overnight. All of a sudden I was telling her that "mommy has to go to the bathroom," and she was asking, "Why?" Yesterday I said, "Let's go outside and pick some lettuce," and she responded with, "Why?" And my favorite so far was this morning when I asked her to not ask mommy a question for a few minutes (it was before 7 a.m. and, well, I was tired) to which she responded, "Why?"

I haven't yet figured out my approach to this stage. I am answering most of the "why's," while others I just ignore because either she has moved on in her thought process or I have no brain cells left to actually respond. And sometimes I just ended up saying, "Because mommy said so." And that's my game plan so far. I'll let you know how it is working next week.

Consequences

Daily Sage is given choices like: Do you want to listen or do you want to go and sit on your bed? Never once has she chosen to go sit on her bed, but none-the-less has ended up on her bed because she just didn't want to listen. I guess that is a choice in and of itself. Anyway, I can't remember a time when I too fell subject to the consequence. That is, the time-outs, while draining and tireless, don't really impact me. But tonight we were at church visiting and bringing dinner to Ryan and Sage decided she didn't really want to listen to anything I was saying. I politely told her that if she didn't want to listen that we could hop back in the jogger and go home -- AND -- I must add, I told her that it was no problem to do just that! Sage continued to do what 3 year-old do: push the limits and test the waters. It finally came to an end when, after already consuming one cookie, I said, "no more," and she turned around and grabbed another one and didn't really relinquish the cookie until I pried it from her hands. She made the decision then to go home. But I wasn't quite ready for that decision. Here we had packed up dinner, walked up to church, were visiting with other people, hanging out and having a good time and after just 15 minutes we were just going to go home? But why say anything at all if I wasn't going to follow through? So, I loaded the kids back in the jogger and walked home, smiling politely at the other people out walking on the street staring at my hysterical child. The struggle didn't end until she finally fell asleep. This can only be the beginning of sharing consequences with my child. Or maybe I need to rethink my consequences. No answers here. Just pure exhaustion from a hard days' work.

Everlasting by Christine A. Hodge

Christine Hodge is a good friend of mine who wittingly writes of motherhood woes and joys. She has willingly accepted my offer to be a guest on my blog ... but soon enough I know she will be blogging on her own!

The other night I was talking with a friend of mine who has a daughter who just turned one year old. That day my friend had come to a rather sobering realization that just about everything she accomplishes today will most likely have to be done again tomorrow (the dishes, putting away toys, straightening up the house, the list goes on). She also was saddened (actually a little angry) that she does all of these things over and over every day without a "thank you" from her daughter (and often her husband). Of course, she knows that her little girl can't verbally express her gratitude toward her mommy, but sadly she also knows that her daughter most likely wouldn't say "thanks" even if she could.

As moms, we've all been there--or will be there at some point. We've felt over-worked and under-appreciated and all we want is a little pat on the back (okay, a BIG pat on the back, or a back massage). We also want to do something that will last for more than 24 hours. When I get my car washed and vacuumed, I often tell my family to be careful in the car for at least a few days. "I'd like to see something stay clean for more than a few hours," I tell them. So I got to thinking about what my friend said and I had a revelation of my own. There are things that we, as moms, do everyday that we won't have to do again tomorrow. There are things that we can do today that will last forever. And I'm not talking about making scrapbooks!

Every day we have the opportunity to positively impact another person's life. Not the grocery store clerk or your child's preschool teacher, but your child--that little one God has entrusted into your care. The time that we spend with our children will last more than 24 hours, and much of what we teach them today won't have to be repeated again tomorrow (unless they're learning to tie their shoes). That should give us a little bit of that sense of accomplishment that we crave so much.

When I first realized that I had the awesome responsibility of instructing my little girls, I have to admit I was worried. I thought that meant that I had to help them memorize a scripture verse every day and have them reading articles out of the Reader's Digest by age 5 (yes, my mother-in-law said her firstborn did just that!) But having the responsibility of teaching my children does not mean I have to sit them down every day with a lesson to learn. It just means that I sprinkle a little bit of the Bible onto their cereal as I mention that God made the cows that give us milk. It means that I mix a little bit of Maturity into their playtime when I encourage my daughters to share. It means that I add a little bit of Prayer to our walks when my toddler scrapes her knee and I ask God to help it feel better. And it means that I throw a bit of Education into our day when I answer my daughter's question about why dogs shake their bodies (actually I never did come up with that answer).

As moms, there are things that we do--some without even thinking--that we won't have to do again tomorrow. But enough about that, I have to go do the dishes.

Quotes

A friend taught me a quote the other day," My house is clean enough to be healthy but messy enough to be happy." This quote has stayed with me all week long. I am reading (or desperately trying to finish in less than a year) To love, honor and vacuum by Shela Wray Gregoire. Essentially, what I have taken away from the book so far, is that I am to look at what I have accomplished in any particular day as opposed to feeling guilty that once again the pile of clothes on the couch did not get folded and put away. So lately, when I see these messes at the end of the day, I try to ask myself a few questions ....

• Did I play with my kids?
• Did we have anybody over for lunch or dinner? (i.e. fellowship)
• Did I meet up with some other moms for a park date?
• Did I make some important phone calls?
• Did I feed my whole family breakfast, lunch & dinner?

Essentially, I am trying to ask myself at the end of the day if I am building God's kingdom or building my own kingdom. It is all a balancing act for me. Of course the bathrooms need to be scrubbed and the laundry fairy is never going to come, so yes, all of that falls on me. BUT, should I feel guilty if I didn't accomplish my cleaning agenda for the day? If messy is happy than I am going to go with a "no" on that one.

Long Pink Hair

Last night, as I was brushing Sage's hair after her bath, she noticed that her hair appeared straight. She said, "Look mama! My hair is so straight. Let's keep it straight." I had to laugh inside. She has no idea how many times I tried to "straighten" my hair ... wishing it would lay flat and shiny instead of frizz out and turn into a fro. My nickname in high school was "Fro Junior." Holly (my older sister) was "Fro." Those with straight hair want luscious curls and those with ringlets want nothing but to be able to comb through their hair w/out the aid of an entire bottle of conditioner. But the other night the girls had long, pink hair. No hot irons or hair-dye required! Check it out.

Baby Ducks

It has been an adventurous week -- as if every week is not an adventure in itself. We were waiting for our duck eggs to hatch and they did ... we found one just sitting by itself in the chicken coop on Tuesday evening, then another one the next evening. And then had to assist one of the ducklings out of its shell (Martha did this -- pretty bloody!) because the shell had become hardened from lack of moisture and too much heat. So, now we have 3 thriving baby ducks: Quackling (Sage's), Blackey (Mine) and Shelly (Aspen & Ryan's). Enjoy the pics.

"Dora Cards"

I don't think I have ever heard my 2 1/2 year-old say, "I want" so many times in her life! She found a Nickelodeon brochure for toys, games, etc. There is Dora stuff all over it, practically screaming, "If you don't own me, you are worthless!" So, of course, Sage points to all the items she does not have, only reminded by us, her parents who are trying to instill some sense of gratitude in their toddler daughter, the toys that she actually does have. So what do you do when you can't have the toys in the catalog? Yep! Cut them out. Ryan cut out the Dora Castle and all of its components (probably cost extra too). I decided to give them a little longer play-life and glued them onto cardboard. The little "Dora Cards" go everywhere. They live in a paper cup, talk to each other, go in the castle, and, wouldn't you know it, GET LOST! We lost Dora riding in her horse carriage yesterday only to find Aspen walking around with it, chewing on it with much delight. Sage loves the "toys" but keeps asking if we can get the real ones. Ryan finally told her she might be able to get them when she is 4. Now we hear, "When I am 4, I am going to get the Dora toys." Ryan decided to hide the catalog, but didn't tell me he was going to hide it, and left me with Sage asking all day, "Mom, where is my magazine?" He gave it back to her. What is life without wants and desires? We just need to continue to educate as best we can. But I will say that I have been very quick to turn the tube off when the commercials come on (on TIVO anyway). No need to feed the desires any more than necessary.

Quick Release Knots

I haven't ridden (for real) in a very very long time. I stopped riding horses when I was in Jr. High and in the 15 years that have followed I can count on one hand how many times I have mounted a horse and ridden. So, I was a bit surprised when I went to tie Nino up to brush him and prepare him to ride, that my hands remembered how to tie a quick release knot. It is all coming back. Very slowly, but it's there. We got to ride Nino in a local arena here in town today. It was beyond fun. But more than anything, I most loved my trail ride with Sage. Cut away into the small mountain surrounding the arena is a short trail. Sage and I "climbed" the mountain and then ducked our way through overgrown trees, all the while, chit chatting about everything under the sun. It was priceless. Here are some pictures from our fun day.

Farewell to BBC, Hello Nino

Ryan and I took the kids out on Monday to spend some birthday money. We headed toward the outlets to our favorite store, Balboa Beach Company. We unloaded the kids and made our way to the store only to discover that the store had been closed down; the owner was ready to retire. What?! We were in disbelief, probably still are. Where else can I find really cute $4 shirts? It's weird when your go-to store disappears! We will have to improvise. Hey, at least Ross has not shut down.
On the flip-side, Martha bought a new horse, Nino. And get this -- we can ride him!! Okay, so most of you don't know, but just two weeks ago we had 4 horses, but only 1 rideable one, (at least rideable for Sage). Now we have 4 horses again (sold one, got a new one), with 2 rideable ones. And this horse wants to stand and look pretty more than anything : ) We even saddled him up tonight and Ryan, Darren and I walked him around. We were acting like 2 yr. olds -- all gitty and excited! This is a fun new adventure. So, adios BBC, hola Nino! (I don't think Ryan would quite agree it is an equal trade, but with his new cowboy hat, it might come close!)

Acquired Taste

I have to admit that I tried the Endangered Species chocolate (Milk Chocolate with Rice Crisp) again today and it is actually really tasty. Dangerously tasty. All of the organic ingredients must require a day to acquire the taste. I am way too used to the highly processed, over-sugared Hershey Kisses. Stepping in a tastier and more humane direction.

Bittersweet

Ryan and I fasted from chocolate for lent. We did this because some 40% of the cocoa beans used to produce chocolate (Hershey, M&M/Mars, etc) come from the Ivory Coast of Africa, where there are over 12,000 children who have been forced into slavery. Haven't a clue as to how the words "slave" and "chocolate" are linked? Go to a few of these articles ....

• 'Slavery' behind Easter Chocolate
• Chocolate & Slavery
• Chocolate and Child Slavery: Unfulfilled Promises of the Cocoa Industry

We took the 40 days to contemplate and decide what our responsibility is to this issue. We concluded that we would only buy "fair trade," chocolate. That is, chocolate produced without the labor of enslaved kids. Trader Joe's actually carries a really good Milk Chocolate bar which is fair trade. And a local market in town carries many of the Endangered Species chocolate bars, which I haven't really taken to, but you might. I found a great website which lists those chocolate producing companies which are "fair trade." Here is the link:
http://www.globalexchange.org/campaigns/fairtrade/coffee/retailers.html

Really, when it comes down to it, how much chocolate do I really need to eat anyway? And I know fair trade purchases aren't the most convenient or cheap, but it's the right decision, for us, anyway.
p.s. I started this blog with the intention of posting some fun Easter pictures of the girls, but somehow that just doesn't seem to fit with this whole slavery-kid theme. So, you'll have to wait for the pics. Sorry!

Was lost but now I'm found

I have always loved the lyrics and melody to "Amazing Grace." And I have always sung the verse, "I was lost, but now am found," with fervor, conviction and joy. But I don't think it was until just recently that I fully understood the concept of being lost and then found.
You see, Auntie Holly bought Sage this really (really, really, really!) cute Roxy jean-jacket for no other reason than Holly being an extremely giving person and a sucker for cute girl apparel. She bought it for Sage about a year ago and it was a bit big and Sage wasn't really into jackets. But recently Sage had taken to the jacket and it was chilly enough for a month or so for her to wear it, so she did. And then just a couple of weeks ago I went in search for the jacket for Sage to wear and it was no where to be found. After calling all of the grandparents and searching every bag, corner and toy box in our house, I had almost given up. When I thought of the lost jacket I felt sad. It was a really nice jacket and Ryan and I would never spend the money to replace it (unless it was like 90% off the sale price or something). A few days past and I continued to share my agony at loosing the jacket with Ryan. Then he and Sage went camping at a local lake. While at the lake they were rummaging around the truck to find something and lo and behold what do you think they found? The jacket! Ryan called me immediately. He said, "Guess what I found?" I couldn't believe it, "No way, you found the jacket?" "Yup," he replied. Relief and joy came over me.
And as I sang this ever so familiar song on Easter Sunday I could sing it with a better understanding, having lost something and then found it just a day ago. Except it's not a thing that has been lost and found but myself; a soul, a heart, a mind. And I can't even imagine the joy God feels when another lost soul has been "found." Much more joy then that of finding a jean jacket, I am sure.

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call’d me here below,
Will be forever mine.

John New­ton, Ol­ney Hymns (Lon­don: W. Ol­i­ver, 1779)

Community Week

This has been a great week. Tuesday a.m. my good friend Tracy stopped by with her kids to play. Then in the afternoon we had a "random stop-by" (i.e. stop by the house unannounced) by Cory. She stayed and chatted for a bit about her soon-to-be boyfriend and then Michaela came over shortly after that to hang out, eat dinner with us and watch a movie (The Prestige). Wednesday Jackie took me kayaking around the lake, and Wednesday night Darren and Kate brought Palazzio's down for dinner and then we went to Carrow's for dessert. Thursday a.m. I met up with Danielle and the girls for a play date in the park and Thursday night I got to go experience "the labyrinth," (our Good Friday service which consists of stations which walk you through Passion Week). Friday my dad came and picked up the girls and I got to go to work and then meet up at my dad's later on for dinner. And now it is Saturday and we had the church Easter egg hunt this afternoon and now the girls are taking their naps. Tomorrow is Easter and I will be up at 5:30 a.m. to go to the sunrise service that our church puts on. Oh! And Aspen got to try on her "new" (Sage's old) shoes that match Sage's new shoes ... I should be so lucky to be surrounded by so many loving people!

Dogs, birthdays & slavery.

Well, I am 29 now. There is no going back. Really it was a wonderful birthday. Ryan and I got to do some kid-free shopping, see the movie Reign Over Me (Adam Sandler), and go to dinner. On Sunday, my actual birthday, we attended the conference, One Voice to End Slavery, in Costa Mesa. That is a whole other blog in itself, one that I am trying to get my mind around but don't even quite know how to do it justice in a blog. Maybe after some more thinking I will venture to write about the 27 million slaves (many of whom are kids) in the world. Here is a website, at least, in case the slavery issue is new to your realm of thinking too: http://www.freetheslaves.net/

On a funnier note, Sage and I had this conversation today:
We were walking on a the bike path and we saw a black Labrador. I told her that Jasmine (our walking dog) is a Yellow Labrador. And the rest of the conversation went something like this ...

Sage: Robert has a black lab
Mom: Yes, Robert does have a black lab. What is her name?
Sage: Shadow. She is a girl, mom?
Mom: Yes, she is a girl. What about Cheyenne, what kind of dog is she?
Sage: (silence)
Mom: A border collie.
Sage: Oh, yeah, a border collie.
Mom: What kind of dog is Tina?
Sage: A chiwawa.
Mom: Who else is a chiwawa?
Sage: Pepper.
Mom: Right. What kind of dog is Shea?
Sage: (silence)
Mom: A Brussels-Griffen.
Sage: A BrusselsGriffen.
Mom: What kind of dog is Chica?
Sage: A big polka-dot dog!
Mom: Yeah, you are right, she is a big polka-dot dog. She is called a Pointer.

Just the sweet moments of life .... now Aspen is up from her nap so my blogging time has expired. No picture today : )

Emerging Again

So after Aspen recovered from her double ear infection, Sage (Sunday night) barfed from 1-3 a.m. and was running a fever all day Monday. Then I came down with the stomach flu on Tuesday and it literally took me out. I could not move. Wednesday I felt about 75% and today I feel pretty good but lots of stomach gurgling. But, the kids feel good, it is sunny, and I turn 29 on Sunday! Tomorrow, Ryan and I get to head off to Santa Barbara to play around and eat at Chad's (thanks Holly & Joel!), which is where I had my first taste of lobster at the prime age of 21. One thing's for sure, you couldn't pay me to be 21 again. Here are some recent pics of the kids ....

Guilt

I don't remember coming across the chapter titled, "Guilt" when I was reading my parenting books and magazines. And yet it is a part of my every day life, sometimes in the background and sometimes in the forefront. Like today, for instance. Aspen has been cranky since Monday and running a fever since Tuesday, so I took her to the doctor today. Come to find out she has a double ear infection (i.e. ear infection in both ears). Oh, that's why she has been screaming at me for two days. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Then of course it is I who made her sick because I weaned her from her morning snack/recreational suckling on Monday and so she must not have been getting the antibodies that she needed to fight the infection. Again, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt. We moms have to make so many decisions everyday that we are bound to mess up here and there and feel guilty for things that are out of our control. At least I took her to the doctor today and didn't decide to wait it out over the weekend!

Ice Cream Sandwhich

My latest indulgence is a raspberry sorbet ice cream sandwhich. Take one Trader Joe's Cinnamon Grahm crackers and break in half. Spread a couple tablespoons of Haagen-Dazs Raspberry Sorbet on one of the cracker halves and then top it with the remaining cracker. Nutritional Info: 120 cal, 2 gms fat. Never mind the fact that I do this about 3x/day ....

Summer in March?

For all intensive purposes it is summer, so we are "doing" summer. Yesterday we dusted off the kiddy pool, blew it up and let the kids splash around and get soaked until about 6:30pm. Today we went to the pool and tonight Sage and Ryan rode their bikes around until about 7:15 pm. As if it isn't hot enough Aspen insists on wearing this puffy striped hooded sweatshirt that one of her aunties got her. She sees it and sqawks at us until she is all suited up, ready for snow? And Sage cannot be parted with a skirt my sister got her for Easter last year. She pairs it with her pj's, under dresses, over shorts, or with whatever she is wearing. If I had to pick an item that she would wear over and over again, this would be the one. Thank God it's not one of those Dora shirts or something! While I would probably be okay with it, Ryan would have some serious issues, being the fashion police of our family and all.

Seasons

I asked my friends today if being tired is just our new way of life as moms. One of my friends responded that there are seasons of motherhood; some with energy, some without. I continued to yawn as we discussed the afternoon lull that hits right around 2pm, and the pot of coffee (at my house anyway) that is brewed and consumed to march on through the day. I am even getting sleep -- straight sleep at that! The girls have been sleeping through the night for like 7 days now. I have to laugh at myself while I write this down. Okay, so 7 days of great sleep is suppose to repair the gazillion hours of sleep I have lost over the past 3 years? Not totally logical. But, I did have a spurt of energy today and I cleaned our bathroom. It had been a while ... like a really long while. Those of you who know me best know just how long this could be, so I am glad the energy burst came today before some green monsters started crawling out of the toilet bowl!

Half-a Paper Towel

My grandpa (well, he is actually Ryan's grandpa, but by default he is mine since I don't have any other grandpas), tears paper towels in half as a form of conservation. Well, this was until he could buy the nifty little half-a paper towels. Have you seen them? Maybe by accident you thought you bought the "big" towels and then you go to tear one off and realize it's a bit smaller. This is after you have already bought the economy pack, which will now last you well over a year. It used to bother me. The tearing of the paper towel, I mean. I don't know why it did. Something inside of me screamed, "But I want the whole thing! Not just half!" Sounds like good old American consumerism to me. However, after using these half-a paper towels for quite some time I started to see that they weren't so bad. And somehow a roll of the "big" towels snuck it's way into the house and I tore one off only to find myself tearing that huge towel in half! It felt too big in my hands ... like, who needs such a large towel to wipe their face off with? So thank you Grandpa for inadvertently showing me that I need to put away gold fish laying about that might grow stale, and reminding me to re-use paper plates that have only crumbs on them from a piece of toast, and most of all, that half-a paper towels are the only way to go!