I haven't seemed to figure out where keeping the sabbath and stay at home mothering mingle. I mean, do I hang my mom, dishwasher, cook, crumb picker-upper, nose wiper, toilet bowl scrubber, office manager, home school teacher, wife hat on the coat rack and call that "sabbath?" No, no. It has to be more elegant than that. Maybe a stay at home mom's sabbath comes in spurts, like the length of a DVR'd show that I sneak a peak at while folding laundry. Or maybe it's a few hours here and there that Ryan takes the girls and leaves me to some peace and quiet. Maybe it's pulling out frozen Costco dinners that just need a few minutes in the microwave before consuming. Like most things God related, I have found that keeping the sabbath is a heart issue, not a specific set of rules to follow. I love this and despise this. A list would be easier to follow (for me, the anal list maker). But I gather I would feel no rest from following a list on how to keep the sabbath (counterproductive I think). Better to ask God, who knows me and all the hats I wear, what my sabbath should look like. I have a hunch he'll say...Costco pre-made dinner, ditch the mop and sponge, pick up a book and sit outside getting in a few nuggets of truth while watching your girls swing on the rope swing.

I am training to run the SB 1/2 Marathon on 11/6. It was either that or sit on the couch and eat bon bons and get fat. A little extreme, I know. But I couldn't handle Tony anymore (aka P90X) and I couldn't seem to motivate myself to workout without some type of goal.

So I am one week into training which included two 4 mile runs, one 2 mile run and one 6 mile run and I have to admit that I feel a little old. I think I underestimated how long ago I trained for the L.A. Marathon, and how, coincidentally, much older that makes me (7 yrs). And I really haven't been on any type of running plan for 1.5 yrs since my discovery of P90X. Long story short, I am feeling it. But it's good to get out and run again, despite my aches and pains.

This will be the year of firsts, is what the people in this special club tell me. How do you join this club? Just have your heart ripped out by losing someone near and dear to you to whatever type of death came his or her way. I told God a while ago that I wanted to rescind my membership...get a refund and go back to life as it once was. Apparently there are no refunds.

Today marks a painful first. My dad's 8th grandchild that he never got to meet will be born at any moment. The grandkids were his life....so this is especially sad.

These are the moments when I wonder about heaven and what goes on up there. Can my dad see and watch what is going on down here? My finite mind says No. My faith in God says Yes.

Here's to another first. Here's to more crying and wrenching of my soul and heart. Here's to being stretched in ways I never really wanted to, and still don't want to.

Lily Leanne, I am so sorry you never got to meet Papa. He would have spoiled you rotten, as he did all the other grandkids.

In February Ryan got me an iPhone. I pretty much used it to text and make phone calls. No apps. No real iPod usage. Just the bare bone basics. Kind of a waste of money. Life was too busy. I didn't have time to go through the 13 GB of music he had downloaded into my iTunes library to decide what I wanted or not.
But, it's 7 months later, and I was tired of Sage asking,"Mom, can we listen to 'If I were a boy?'" and me saying, Nope, that's on dad's phone.
So I spent some time with my computer, like, a lot of time, and I finally created a playlist for the girls equipped with Beyonce and many other lovely songs. Sigh. One fricken moment at a time.