Last night Sage was missing her daddy and was asking his whereabouts and I explained that daddy was working. Then she thought for a few minutes and asked, "Where do you work Mama?" I was a little caught off guard since this is the first time she has asked me this. "Well," I start to answer, "um ... mommy works in our house and takes care of you girls, and ..." I couldn't think of anything else to say after that. Is there a correct stay-at-home mom definition?A homemaker is a person whose prime occupation is to care for their family and/or home; the term is originally an Americanism, and while it has entered mainstream English, it is not in common usage outside the U.S. Finding a term to describe the modern man or woman who has left the paid workforce to care for their family is problematic. The term homemaker is used in preference to either housewife or househusband because it is inclusive, defines the role in terms of activities, rather than relation to another, and is independent of marital status.When I was first dating Ryan I remember having many discussions about the role of a woman in the household. I could never visualize myself staying home with little kids, so I fought his ideal and stated that I would be the one bringing home the bacon. Looking back I can see that I must have looked down upon the role of a mother who chooses to stay home with her kids. Obviously I think much differently now that I have two little munchkins of my own.
-Wikipedia.com
Still, it seems like there is such a huge divide between the working mom and the stay-at-home-mom. It's like we are on different teams or something. We growl at each other and pass judgments like, "If she were home more often then her kids would behave better, "or, "All that those stay-at-home moms talk about are poopy diapers and time-outs." Even worse is when mom's on the same team pass judgment upon one another.
The role of a mom is complicated and specific to that woman, her children, her husband, her extended family, and so on and so forth. I guess that means that each us need to make up our very own definition of who we are and what our responsibilities involve. These general descriptions just don't do it. I have yet to write my own. What about you?
5 comments:
Wow, that's a hard question to answer. I know I would never choose work over my kids, even though somedays I wish I could. God has blessed all of us stay at home moms with much needed patience and love because I believe we have the hardest but the most fulfilling job.
Staying at home....really is a big part of the definition of being a stay at home mom. I think this is the biggest adjustment one makes in making a decision. I can't just pop in the car for a quick errand....Gone is the self..well not totally...because that is why it's so very difficult to adjust. The first time I saw David drive off for work after I had Peter I cried. Not becuase I was afraid...but becuase I realized life was getting back to normal for him, and I on the otherhand was entering unchartered territory. We don't have a wealth of babysitters so my biggest difficulty has been having to adjust to attend things alone. I just responded to a wedding invitation today for one.
David leaves for 10 days for work and I have ten days to fill up so I don't crack under the pressure, loneliness and structer of "staying at home."
Do I love my life? YES ABSOLUTELY...but staying at home is hard and I do it becuase having a mommy with you 99% of the time is the best thing we can do for our children.
I am so thankful for the big, loving, able God that we have. Once I had the privilege of being a stay at home mom. Circumstances changed and I was forced to be gone most of the time and I still had children to raise. God provided where I was unable to. He brought people into our lives that provided love, supervision, and even food. Through His grace the kids became Christians and are growing to be like Him. Be slow to judge. I think that the word that comes to mind is to be a servant. As stay at home working moms, or outside of the home working moms, our goals are the same, to be servants, showing God's love to those that come into our lives. I have also learned that I must ask, "What kind of a help mate am I?" Do I hold that first or do I put my kids first? The kids will leave. Hopefully we will have nourished the one that we are one with and that relationship will stand firm. I agree, it is sometimes much easier to walk out of the door and go to work than to stay at home. However, for some, that outside world is where they are called to serve. May we all serve and obey and encourage each other~!
Wow, the comments were as deep as the post itself. I agree with all 3 moms. I am so blessed to be able to stay at home with my kids, but I agree with Peter'z Mom that jumping into the car to run a quick errand is a thing of the past. I carefully choose when I do my errands and, if at all possible, do them without the girls. Yikes! Being a stay-at-home-mom takes a lot of creativity and flexibility, but I wouldn't ever trade it for the "working" world.
(BTW, Amber, you are a phenomenal writer)
Wow, I just feel blessed to get to read the post and comments.
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