I decided to go on a jog this morning with the girls and our dog. I hadn't quite figured out how I was going to go on a run and be back by 9:30 am, shower, get dressed, dress the girls, pack two diaper bags and be at church by 10am, but I figured it would all work out somehow. Thankfully my step-mom Judy stopped by to drop a few things off just after we returned from our run. She was standing in the door while we were chit chatting, and all the while, I am thinking, wow, it would be so great if she could watch the girls while I took a quick shower. I kept putting off asking her. I didn't want to be a burden. Finally, as I looked around my living room blanketed with toys and Sage bouncing off the couches while Aspen was crying to be picked up I decided, I NEED SOME HELP. I asked Judy, and of course it wasn't any big deal at all. But why is it so hard to ask for help sometimes?
Then while I was in our church service holding Aspen, my good friend Maria asked if she could hold her and put her to sleep since she appeared sleepy. My initial thought was, "No, Aspen is heavy and your arms will get tired and you won't be able to enjoy the service, etc." Again I found myself struggling with this help issue, except for in this case I was pushing the help away, fearing I might burden someone else.
And then there was my dad the other night at dinner who practically yelled at me to sit down when I started to clear the dishes. Seriously, he had to ask me 5 times to stop clearing the dishes before I finally sat back down.
What is it that keeps us from asking for help? Pride? Is it society telling us that we are weak if we admit that we are needy at times? And how do our seemingly thoughtful responses insult others (me not wanting to burden others, so thoughtful right?)? Maria obviously wanted to help me and should I take that from her? My dad clearly wanted me to just sit and enjoy myself after our dinner was over, and did I disrespect him by not responding when he first told me to sit down? Where is my ability to just say, "Thank You," and move on? I clearly do not have this ability. But here is a start ...
Thank You, Judy, for staying over a few minutes and watching the girls so I could go to church with clean hair.
Thank You, Maria, for swaying Aspen to sleep and holding her during the service so I could fully immerse myself into worship and the group discussion.
Thank You, Dad, for a wonderful dinner.
1 comment:
ISn't this the truth. marilyn came over for a peter fix and asked if she could bring lunch for us. I almost immediatley said no, but then I bit my tongue and said "that would be great." She was glad to do it too.
I wonder if really we are reticent to accept help for two reasons...You know, no perfect motive...#1 we didn't ourselves offer help when it was needed and we had the opportunity (I feel this) #2 we don't want to feel some imbalance about getting so much help, and not having the opportunity now to return the help. Kind of like an imbalance.
Anyway....Good for you.
Love G--love the pics..
Post a Comment