Endorphins & Caffeine

Before I go to the gym I usually guzzle some coffee to get my brain and body up to speed and up to the task. This makes for some pretty amazing thoughts while I am at the gym, pumping iron. During that short 45min. I have usually started a couple of businesses, mentally written all of my thank you notes and thought of a gazillion more things to put on my "to-do" list. Lately I have tried to remember a few of these great ideas and jot them down when I get in the car. Because, you guessed it, as soon as I get home and the endorphins fizzle and the caffeine wears off, those ideas seem, well, kind of silly. But, there was one idea that popped into my head last Friday and that was to take a sewing class at our local community college. I got the go-ahead from Ryan and I even have a friend who might take the class with me. I am actually pretty excited and it actually might even happen. All this to say, drink some coffee before your next workout. You never know what new ideas might pop into your head.

It's Official

Our summer bedtime, (and by "our" I mean our kids' bedtime) is officially now 9pm. What? How is that possible? I don't know ... maybe it's the late sunsets or the various activities we are attending ... or maybe it's just how it is in the summer. At least the kids are sleeping in later than normal so we get to "sleep-in" until 7:15 a.m.!

Nothing Cuter

There's nothing cuter than ....

... peeking into the living room and seeing the girls sitting around Ryan with their little toes reaching out to be painted ... and then Ryan painting them!

... peeking again into the living room to see Ryan and the girls playing baseball on the Wii. Sage was hitting homers and Aspen was running bases!

Busy Bees

I thought the summer was going to be slow and relaxing. I don't think we have stopped a second since a few weeks ago ... and the piles (4 of them) of clean clothes in my bedroom are the proof! At least we have clean clothes. Now off to have more fun in the sun.

Sippy Cups

What is the shelf-life of a sippy cup? I had a cupboard full of infant bottles that I could finally clear away and replace with all of our sippy cups (which usually dry and and sit on our counter). But as I was putting them away I was just wondering how long I should actually keep these things around. I admit that I have bleached the heck out of some of them in an attempt to revive them, I have scrubbed some with toothbrushes and others have been fated to the trashcan because there was no going back, if you know what I mean. I am feeling this itch to toss all the spill-proof cups we have and go out and buy new ones, but do I need to?

Death

As a child I used to fear and envision my parents dying. My heart would race, my ears would ring and my eyes would well up with tears over a death that hadn't even occurred and yet it felt so real.
Tonight Sage and I conversed about death, getting old and being buried under trees (dogs). Of course, it started out innocent -- well, innocent enough. But by the end of the conversation she was in tears, gripping me, pleading, "But, mommy, I don't want you to die because I love you so much and I would miss you!" She did tell me through her tears that at least I would be with Jesus. I tried to comfort her and explain that mommy is here now. Then, after 10 minutes or so, I gently steered the conversation toward a happier topic. That lasted a few seconds and then it was Aspen who was going to be sad when Sage died because Sage is going to get old and die because we die when we get old. I finally held her tightly and decided we needed to pray and have a conversation with Jesus about death.
Dear Jesus, thank you that we are living today and we pray that we get to be part of each others lives for a really long time. Please keep us safe and help us to sleep well tonight and not have bad dreams. Amen.

Sage's heart raced and the tears flowed over a death that has not yet occurred. And I held her tight and told her over and over again that mommy is here right now, and prayed, in my own quiet thoughts, for God to allow to be around to see her accept her high school diploma, see her walk down the aisle to the man she will marry and be around to cuddle the babies she might one day have. Heavy is the heart of a mom, especially on days like this one.

Fantastic!

I thought of some amazing things to write about today. So amazing that I forget all of them. At least I didn't forget that Sage's word of the day was Fantastic, and she said it two times and with much enthusiasm, I must add.

PK's

Sage and Aspen enjoyed themselves in their "doughnuts" tonight at youth group. It's great to be a PK.

Happy Birthday Sage!

The party was actually pretty perfect. And I am not even complimenting myself here -- although those double-decker cupcakes were pretty fabulous. The kids played well, the weather was great, everyone was mellow, no scrapes, no fighting over swings (no swings at the park - go figure). So ...Sage is now 3 and quite the big girl these days. Lately she is very into getting dolled up with her dress-up necklaces and earrings and announcing herself as "princess Sage" when she enters the room. All the while her hair is a crazy mess and she has lunch crumbs still stuck to her shirt. It's a beautiful sight. Enjoy the pictures from the party.

Change

I don't know why it took me so long to start using Google Reader (www.google.com/reader) It is an amazing tool that is free, highly efficient and easy to use. Ryan kept telling me to switch and I kept making excuses as to why I needed to waste time loading all of the blogsites that I frequent, only to find out that they (the authors) had not posted anything new. Now I just click on Google Reader and ... well, you need to sign up for yourself to get the full experience. Or wait 10 years like I did and miss out. Your choice.

Homemaker

Last night Sage was missing her daddy and was asking his whereabouts and I explained that daddy was working. Then she thought for a few minutes and asked, "Where do you work Mama?" I was a little caught off guard since this is the first time she has asked me this. "Well," I start to answer, "um ... mommy works in our house and takes care of you girls, and ..." I couldn't think of anything else to say after that. Is there a correct stay-at-home mom definition?

A homemaker is a person whose prime occupation is to care for their family and/or home; the term is originally an Americanism, and while it has entered mainstream English, it is not in common usage outside the U.S. Finding a term to describe the modern man or woman who has left the paid workforce to care for their family is problematic. The term homemaker is used in preference to either housewife or househusband because it is inclusive, defines the role in terms of activities, rather than relation to another, and is independent of marital status.
-Wikipedia.com

When I was first dating Ryan I remember having many discussions about the role of a woman in the household. I could never visualize myself staying home with little kids, so I fought his ideal and stated that I would be the one bringing home the bacon. Looking back I can see that I must have looked down upon the role of a mother who chooses to stay home with her kids. Obviously I think much differently now that I have two little munchkins of my own.
Still, it seems like there is such a huge divide between the working mom and the stay-at-home-mom. It's like we are on different teams or something. We growl at each other and pass judgments like, "If she were home more often then her kids would behave better, "or, "All that those stay-at-home moms talk about are poopy diapers and time-outs." Even worse is when mom's on the same team pass judgment upon one another.
The role of a mom is complicated and specific to that woman, her children, her husband, her extended family, and so on and so forth. I guess that means that each us need to make up our very own definition of who we are and what our responsibilities involve. These general descriptions just don't do it. I have yet to write my own. What about you?

Memorial Day

I usually get all the 3-day weekend holidays/memorials confused. Maybe this is because I have never actually celebrated the true meaning of the day or done anything to remember those who have served and died for our country. This sounds bad, I know, but sometimes the truth isn't all that pretty. So, what's a person to do when they need to know something? Google it. So that's what I did and found out some pretty cool facts about Memorial Day:

• First observed on May 30, 1868
• Now celebrated on the last Monday in May in most states
• A day to honor those who have died serving our nation
• A National Moment of Remembrance asks us to informally observe this day in our own way at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day

Americans have opened nearly 1,000 new graves to bury U.S. troops killed in Iraq since Memorial Day a year ago. The figure is telling _ and expected to rise in coming months.

- STEVEN R. HURST , May 27, 2007

So, put your corn-on-the-cob down at 3 p.m. tomorrow and just think, for a moment, or even seconds, of the many lives lost and the many families who have been affected by those lost lives.

Fresh New Start

Wow, I feel like I went clothes shopping or something. I upgraded my templates through Blogger and have been given the freedom to edit many things about my blog that didn't used to be so easy. Ryan messes with all of that HTML stuff and I just ask him questions and become very confused. So, all this to say, it was time for a fresh look and I am glad it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Happy blogging.

Update: Okay, so I thought I was totally happy with my changes, but I think I like the squished look over the stretched look. Ryan said it was too hard to read the stretched look. Hopefully I will keep this look for a while ....

Why?

"Why" is such a great word. Think about it. It bridges the gap between not knowing and knowing. Between confusion and answers. I guess Ryan used this word insistently until he was 14 or 15. That's what he told me anyway when I asked him how long he thought the "why" stage would last.

Sage entered the "why" stage a few weeks ago. It was pretty much overnight. All of a sudden I was telling her that "mommy has to go to the bathroom," and she was asking, "Why?" Yesterday I said, "Let's go outside and pick some lettuce," and she responded with, "Why?" And my favorite so far was this morning when I asked her to not ask mommy a question for a few minutes (it was before 7 a.m. and, well, I was tired) to which she responded, "Why?"

I haven't yet figured out my approach to this stage. I am answering most of the "why's," while others I just ignore because either she has moved on in her thought process or I have no brain cells left to actually respond. And sometimes I just ended up saying, "Because mommy said so." And that's my game plan so far. I'll let you know how it is working next week.

Consequences

Daily Sage is given choices like: Do you want to listen or do you want to go and sit on your bed? Never once has she chosen to go sit on her bed, but none-the-less has ended up on her bed because she just didn't want to listen. I guess that is a choice in and of itself. Anyway, I can't remember a time when I too fell subject to the consequence. That is, the time-outs, while draining and tireless, don't really impact me. But tonight we were at church visiting and bringing dinner to Ryan and Sage decided she didn't really want to listen to anything I was saying. I politely told her that if she didn't want to listen that we could hop back in the jogger and go home -- AND -- I must add, I told her that it was no problem to do just that! Sage continued to do what 3 year-old do: push the limits and test the waters. It finally came to an end when, after already consuming one cookie, I said, "no more," and she turned around and grabbed another one and didn't really relinquish the cookie until I pried it from her hands. She made the decision then to go home. But I wasn't quite ready for that decision. Here we had packed up dinner, walked up to church, were visiting with other people, hanging out and having a good time and after just 15 minutes we were just going to go home? But why say anything at all if I wasn't going to follow through? So, I loaded the kids back in the jogger and walked home, smiling politely at the other people out walking on the street staring at my hysterical child. The struggle didn't end until she finally fell asleep. This can only be the beginning of sharing consequences with my child. Or maybe I need to rethink my consequences. No answers here. Just pure exhaustion from a hard days' work.

Everlasting by Christine A. Hodge

Christine Hodge is a good friend of mine who wittingly writes of motherhood woes and joys. She has willingly accepted my offer to be a guest on my blog ... but soon enough I know she will be blogging on her own!

The other night I was talking with a friend of mine who has a daughter who just turned one year old. That day my friend had come to a rather sobering realization that just about everything she accomplishes today will most likely have to be done again tomorrow (the dishes, putting away toys, straightening up the house, the list goes on). She also was saddened (actually a little angry) that she does all of these things over and over every day without a "thank you" from her daughter (and often her husband). Of course, she knows that her little girl can't verbally express her gratitude toward her mommy, but sadly she also knows that her daughter most likely wouldn't say "thanks" even if she could.

As moms, we've all been there--or will be there at some point. We've felt over-worked and under-appreciated and all we want is a little pat on the back (okay, a BIG pat on the back, or a back massage). We also want to do something that will last for more than 24 hours. When I get my car washed and vacuumed, I often tell my family to be careful in the car for at least a few days. "I'd like to see something stay clean for more than a few hours," I tell them. So I got to thinking about what my friend said and I had a revelation of my own. There are things that we, as moms, do everyday that we won't have to do again tomorrow. There are things that we can do today that will last forever. And I'm not talking about making scrapbooks!

Every day we have the opportunity to positively impact another person's life. Not the grocery store clerk or your child's preschool teacher, but your child--that little one God has entrusted into your care. The time that we spend with our children will last more than 24 hours, and much of what we teach them today won't have to be repeated again tomorrow (unless they're learning to tie their shoes). That should give us a little bit of that sense of accomplishment that we crave so much.

When I first realized that I had the awesome responsibility of instructing my little girls, I have to admit I was worried. I thought that meant that I had to help them memorize a scripture verse every day and have them reading articles out of the Reader's Digest by age 5 (yes, my mother-in-law said her firstborn did just that!) But having the responsibility of teaching my children does not mean I have to sit them down every day with a lesson to learn. It just means that I sprinkle a little bit of the Bible onto their cereal as I mention that God made the cows that give us milk. It means that I mix a little bit of Maturity into their playtime when I encourage my daughters to share. It means that I add a little bit of Prayer to our walks when my toddler scrapes her knee and I ask God to help it feel better. And it means that I throw a bit of Education into our day when I answer my daughter's question about why dogs shake their bodies (actually I never did come up with that answer).

As moms, there are things that we do--some without even thinking--that we won't have to do again tomorrow. But enough about that, I have to go do the dishes.

Quotes

A friend taught me a quote the other day," My house is clean enough to be healthy but messy enough to be happy." This quote has stayed with me all week long. I am reading (or desperately trying to finish in less than a year) To love, honor and vacuum by Shela Wray Gregoire. Essentially, what I have taken away from the book so far, is that I am to look at what I have accomplished in any particular day as opposed to feeling guilty that once again the pile of clothes on the couch did not get folded and put away. So lately, when I see these messes at the end of the day, I try to ask myself a few questions ....

• Did I play with my kids?
• Did we have anybody over for lunch or dinner? (i.e. fellowship)
• Did I meet up with some other moms for a park date?
• Did I make some important phone calls?
• Did I feed my whole family breakfast, lunch & dinner?

Essentially, I am trying to ask myself at the end of the day if I am building God's kingdom or building my own kingdom. It is all a balancing act for me. Of course the bathrooms need to be scrubbed and the laundry fairy is never going to come, so yes, all of that falls on me. BUT, should I feel guilty if I didn't accomplish my cleaning agenda for the day? If messy is happy than I am going to go with a "no" on that one.

Long Pink Hair

Last night, as I was brushing Sage's hair after her bath, she noticed that her hair appeared straight. She said, "Look mama! My hair is so straight. Let's keep it straight." I had to laugh inside. She has no idea how many times I tried to "straighten" my hair ... wishing it would lay flat and shiny instead of frizz out and turn into a fro. My nickname in high school was "Fro Junior." Holly (my older sister) was "Fro." Those with straight hair want luscious curls and those with ringlets want nothing but to be able to comb through their hair w/out the aid of an entire bottle of conditioner. But the other night the girls had long, pink hair. No hot irons or hair-dye required! Check it out.

Baby Ducks

It has been an adventurous week -- as if every week is not an adventure in itself. We were waiting for our duck eggs to hatch and they did ... we found one just sitting by itself in the chicken coop on Tuesday evening, then another one the next evening. And then had to assist one of the ducklings out of its shell (Martha did this -- pretty bloody!) because the shell had become hardened from lack of moisture and too much heat. So, now we have 3 thriving baby ducks: Quackling (Sage's), Blackey (Mine) and Shelly (Aspen & Ryan's). Enjoy the pics.

"Dora Cards"

I don't think I have ever heard my 2 1/2 year-old say, "I want" so many times in her life! She found a Nickelodeon brochure for toys, games, etc. There is Dora stuff all over it, practically screaming, "If you don't own me, you are worthless!" So, of course, Sage points to all the items she does not have, only reminded by us, her parents who are trying to instill some sense of gratitude in their toddler daughter, the toys that she actually does have. So what do you do when you can't have the toys in the catalog? Yep! Cut them out. Ryan cut out the Dora Castle and all of its components (probably cost extra too). I decided to give them a little longer play-life and glued them onto cardboard. The little "Dora Cards" go everywhere. They live in a paper cup, talk to each other, go in the castle, and, wouldn't you know it, GET LOST! We lost Dora riding in her horse carriage yesterday only to find Aspen walking around with it, chewing on it with much delight. Sage loves the "toys" but keeps asking if we can get the real ones. Ryan finally told her she might be able to get them when she is 4. Now we hear, "When I am 4, I am going to get the Dora toys." Ryan decided to hide the catalog, but didn't tell me he was going to hide it, and left me with Sage asking all day, "Mom, where is my magazine?" He gave it back to her. What is life without wants and desires? We just need to continue to educate as best we can. But I will say that I have been very quick to turn the tube off when the commercials come on (on TIVO anyway). No need to feed the desires any more than necessary.

Quick Release Knots

I haven't ridden (for real) in a very very long time. I stopped riding horses when I was in Jr. High and in the 15 years that have followed I can count on one hand how many times I have mounted a horse and ridden. So, I was a bit surprised when I went to tie Nino up to brush him and prepare him to ride, that my hands remembered how to tie a quick release knot. It is all coming back. Very slowly, but it's there. We got to ride Nino in a local arena here in town today. It was beyond fun. But more than anything, I most loved my trail ride with Sage. Cut away into the small mountain surrounding the arena is a short trail. Sage and I "climbed" the mountain and then ducked our way through overgrown trees, all the while, chit chatting about everything under the sun. It was priceless. Here are some pictures from our fun day.

Farewell to BBC, Hello Nino

Ryan and I took the kids out on Monday to spend some birthday money. We headed toward the outlets to our favorite store, Balboa Beach Company. We unloaded the kids and made our way to the store only to discover that the store had been closed down; the owner was ready to retire. What?! We were in disbelief, probably still are. Where else can I find really cute $4 shirts? It's weird when your go-to store disappears! We will have to improvise. Hey, at least Ross has not shut down.
On the flip-side, Martha bought a new horse, Nino. And get this -- we can ride him!! Okay, so most of you don't know, but just two weeks ago we had 4 horses, but only 1 rideable one, (at least rideable for Sage). Now we have 4 horses again (sold one, got a new one), with 2 rideable ones. And this horse wants to stand and look pretty more than anything : ) We even saddled him up tonight and Ryan, Darren and I walked him around. We were acting like 2 yr. olds -- all gitty and excited! This is a fun new adventure. So, adios BBC, hola Nino! (I don't think Ryan would quite agree it is an equal trade, but with his new cowboy hat, it might come close!)

Acquired Taste

I have to admit that I tried the Endangered Species chocolate (Milk Chocolate with Rice Crisp) again today and it is actually really tasty. Dangerously tasty. All of the organic ingredients must require a day to acquire the taste. I am way too used to the highly processed, over-sugared Hershey Kisses. Stepping in a tastier and more humane direction.

Bittersweet

Ryan and I fasted from chocolate for lent. We did this because some 40% of the cocoa beans used to produce chocolate (Hershey, M&M/Mars, etc) come from the Ivory Coast of Africa, where there are over 12,000 children who have been forced into slavery. Haven't a clue as to how the words "slave" and "chocolate" are linked? Go to a few of these articles ....

• 'Slavery' behind Easter Chocolate
• Chocolate & Slavery
• Chocolate and Child Slavery: Unfulfilled Promises of the Cocoa Industry

We took the 40 days to contemplate and decide what our responsibility is to this issue. We concluded that we would only buy "fair trade," chocolate. That is, chocolate produced without the labor of enslaved kids. Trader Joe's actually carries a really good Milk Chocolate bar which is fair trade. And a local market in town carries many of the Endangered Species chocolate bars, which I haven't really taken to, but you might. I found a great website which lists those chocolate producing companies which are "fair trade." Here is the link:
http://www.globalexchange.org/campaigns/fairtrade/coffee/retailers.html

Really, when it comes down to it, how much chocolate do I really need to eat anyway? And I know fair trade purchases aren't the most convenient or cheap, but it's the right decision, for us, anyway.
p.s. I started this blog with the intention of posting some fun Easter pictures of the girls, but somehow that just doesn't seem to fit with this whole slavery-kid theme. So, you'll have to wait for the pics. Sorry!

Was lost but now I'm found

I have always loved the lyrics and melody to "Amazing Grace." And I have always sung the verse, "I was lost, but now am found," with fervor, conviction and joy. But I don't think it was until just recently that I fully understood the concept of being lost and then found.
You see, Auntie Holly bought Sage this really (really, really, really!) cute Roxy jean-jacket for no other reason than Holly being an extremely giving person and a sucker for cute girl apparel. She bought it for Sage about a year ago and it was a bit big and Sage wasn't really into jackets. But recently Sage had taken to the jacket and it was chilly enough for a month or so for her to wear it, so she did. And then just a couple of weeks ago I went in search for the jacket for Sage to wear and it was no where to be found. After calling all of the grandparents and searching every bag, corner and toy box in our house, I had almost given up. When I thought of the lost jacket I felt sad. It was a really nice jacket and Ryan and I would never spend the money to replace it (unless it was like 90% off the sale price or something). A few days past and I continued to share my agony at loosing the jacket with Ryan. Then he and Sage went camping at a local lake. While at the lake they were rummaging around the truck to find something and lo and behold what do you think they found? The jacket! Ryan called me immediately. He said, "Guess what I found?" I couldn't believe it, "No way, you found the jacket?" "Yup," he replied. Relief and joy came over me.
And as I sang this ever so familiar song on Easter Sunday I could sing it with a better understanding, having lost something and then found it just a day ago. Except it's not a thing that has been lost and found but myself; a soul, a heart, a mind. And I can't even imagine the joy God feels when another lost soul has been "found." Much more joy then that of finding a jean jacket, I am sure.

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call’d me here below,
Will be forever mine.

John New­ton, Ol­ney Hymns (Lon­don: W. Ol­i­ver, 1779)

Community Week

This has been a great week. Tuesday a.m. my good friend Tracy stopped by with her kids to play. Then in the afternoon we had a "random stop-by" (i.e. stop by the house unannounced) by Cory. She stayed and chatted for a bit about her soon-to-be boyfriend and then Michaela came over shortly after that to hang out, eat dinner with us and watch a movie (The Prestige). Wednesday Jackie took me kayaking around the lake, and Wednesday night Darren and Kate brought Palazzio's down for dinner and then we went to Carrow's for dessert. Thursday a.m. I met up with Danielle and the girls for a play date in the park and Thursday night I got to go experience "the labyrinth," (our Good Friday service which consists of stations which walk you through Passion Week). Friday my dad came and picked up the girls and I got to go to work and then meet up at my dad's later on for dinner. And now it is Saturday and we had the church Easter egg hunt this afternoon and now the girls are taking their naps. Tomorrow is Easter and I will be up at 5:30 a.m. to go to the sunrise service that our church puts on. Oh! And Aspen got to try on her "new" (Sage's old) shoes that match Sage's new shoes ... I should be so lucky to be surrounded by so many loving people!

Dogs, birthdays & slavery.

Well, I am 29 now. There is no going back. Really it was a wonderful birthday. Ryan and I got to do some kid-free shopping, see the movie Reign Over Me (Adam Sandler), and go to dinner. On Sunday, my actual birthday, we attended the conference, One Voice to End Slavery, in Costa Mesa. That is a whole other blog in itself, one that I am trying to get my mind around but don't even quite know how to do it justice in a blog. Maybe after some more thinking I will venture to write about the 27 million slaves (many of whom are kids) in the world. Here is a website, at least, in case the slavery issue is new to your realm of thinking too: http://www.freetheslaves.net/

On a funnier note, Sage and I had this conversation today:
We were walking on a the bike path and we saw a black Labrador. I told her that Jasmine (our walking dog) is a Yellow Labrador. And the rest of the conversation went something like this ...

Sage: Robert has a black lab
Mom: Yes, Robert does have a black lab. What is her name?
Sage: Shadow. She is a girl, mom?
Mom: Yes, she is a girl. What about Cheyenne, what kind of dog is she?
Sage: (silence)
Mom: A border collie.
Sage: Oh, yeah, a border collie.
Mom: What kind of dog is Tina?
Sage: A chiwawa.
Mom: Who else is a chiwawa?
Sage: Pepper.
Mom: Right. What kind of dog is Shea?
Sage: (silence)
Mom: A Brussels-Griffen.
Sage: A BrusselsGriffen.
Mom: What kind of dog is Chica?
Sage: A big polka-dot dog!
Mom: Yeah, you are right, she is a big polka-dot dog. She is called a Pointer.

Just the sweet moments of life .... now Aspen is up from her nap so my blogging time has expired. No picture today : )

Emerging Again

So after Aspen recovered from her double ear infection, Sage (Sunday night) barfed from 1-3 a.m. and was running a fever all day Monday. Then I came down with the stomach flu on Tuesday and it literally took me out. I could not move. Wednesday I felt about 75% and today I feel pretty good but lots of stomach gurgling. But, the kids feel good, it is sunny, and I turn 29 on Sunday! Tomorrow, Ryan and I get to head off to Santa Barbara to play around and eat at Chad's (thanks Holly & Joel!), which is where I had my first taste of lobster at the prime age of 21. One thing's for sure, you couldn't pay me to be 21 again. Here are some recent pics of the kids ....

Guilt

I don't remember coming across the chapter titled, "Guilt" when I was reading my parenting books and magazines. And yet it is a part of my every day life, sometimes in the background and sometimes in the forefront. Like today, for instance. Aspen has been cranky since Monday and running a fever since Tuesday, so I took her to the doctor today. Come to find out she has a double ear infection (i.e. ear infection in both ears). Oh, that's why she has been screaming at me for two days. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Then of course it is I who made her sick because I weaned her from her morning snack/recreational suckling on Monday and so she must not have been getting the antibodies that she needed to fight the infection. Again, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt. We moms have to make so many decisions everyday that we are bound to mess up here and there and feel guilty for things that are out of our control. At least I took her to the doctor today and didn't decide to wait it out over the weekend!

Ice Cream Sandwhich

My latest indulgence is a raspberry sorbet ice cream sandwhich. Take one Trader Joe's Cinnamon Grahm crackers and break in half. Spread a couple tablespoons of Haagen-Dazs Raspberry Sorbet on one of the cracker halves and then top it with the remaining cracker. Nutritional Info: 120 cal, 2 gms fat. Never mind the fact that I do this about 3x/day ....

Summer in March?

For all intensive purposes it is summer, so we are "doing" summer. Yesterday we dusted off the kiddy pool, blew it up and let the kids splash around and get soaked until about 6:30pm. Today we went to the pool and tonight Sage and Ryan rode their bikes around until about 7:15 pm. As if it isn't hot enough Aspen insists on wearing this puffy striped hooded sweatshirt that one of her aunties got her. She sees it and sqawks at us until she is all suited up, ready for snow? And Sage cannot be parted with a skirt my sister got her for Easter last year. She pairs it with her pj's, under dresses, over shorts, or with whatever she is wearing. If I had to pick an item that she would wear over and over again, this would be the one. Thank God it's not one of those Dora shirts or something! While I would probably be okay with it, Ryan would have some serious issues, being the fashion police of our family and all.

Seasons

I asked my friends today if being tired is just our new way of life as moms. One of my friends responded that there are seasons of motherhood; some with energy, some without. I continued to yawn as we discussed the afternoon lull that hits right around 2pm, and the pot of coffee (at my house anyway) that is brewed and consumed to march on through the day. I am even getting sleep -- straight sleep at that! The girls have been sleeping through the night for like 7 days now. I have to laugh at myself while I write this down. Okay, so 7 days of great sleep is suppose to repair the gazillion hours of sleep I have lost over the past 3 years? Not totally logical. But, I did have a spurt of energy today and I cleaned our bathroom. It had been a while ... like a really long while. Those of you who know me best know just how long this could be, so I am glad the energy burst came today before some green monsters started crawling out of the toilet bowl!

Half-a Paper Towel

My grandpa (well, he is actually Ryan's grandpa, but by default he is mine since I don't have any other grandpas), tears paper towels in half as a form of conservation. Well, this was until he could buy the nifty little half-a paper towels. Have you seen them? Maybe by accident you thought you bought the "big" towels and then you go to tear one off and realize it's a bit smaller. This is after you have already bought the economy pack, which will now last you well over a year. It used to bother me. The tearing of the paper towel, I mean. I don't know why it did. Something inside of me screamed, "But I want the whole thing! Not just half!" Sounds like good old American consumerism to me. However, after using these half-a paper towels for quite some time I started to see that they weren't so bad. And somehow a roll of the "big" towels snuck it's way into the house and I tore one off only to find myself tearing that huge towel in half! It felt too big in my hands ... like, who needs such a large towel to wipe their face off with? So thank you Grandpa for inadvertently showing me that I need to put away gold fish laying about that might grow stale, and reminding me to re-use paper plates that have only crumbs on them from a piece of toast, and most of all, that half-a paper towels are the only way to go!

All the sippy cups are washed

A week ago tomorrow Ryan and I left for a mini-vacation to Tahoe. I have undergone a flurry of emotions in the past 7 days. From excitement and anxiety at leaving the girls behind, to utter relaxation while up in Tahoe, from excitement again at seeing the girls after 3 days of their absence quickly followed by fatigue at taking up motherly responsibilities again. Today, 4 days after our return home I feel my old, motherly self again; the house is somewhat tidied up tonight and I have a bit of energy to type out all the events of my life. And, of course, the sippy cups are all washed and lined up, ready for whatever tomorrow brings.

Happy Birthday Aspen!

We celebrated Aspen's 1st birthday this morning (just the 4 of us). Sage helped me make some muffins and we topped them with icing and sprinkles. Aspen likes cakes -- not unlike her sister : ) We also opened some presents. Sage passed down "Thumper," her very first rocking horse. She wrapped it with dad and handed Aspen the pink slip : ) We also wrapped another gift that we had never taken out since Xmas ... I know, we are so bad! Aspen knew know difference and won't unless this blog is still around when she is of reading age : ) Check out the pics.

Masquerade

Ryan and I got to go to a Masquerade Ball this past weekend. Well, okay, so it wasn't quite a ball, but I definitely felt like Cinderella escaping from her chores to meet prince charming. I was, of course, escaping from our sick house and I, of course, got to go hand-in-hand to the ball with my husband, but you get the point. We won first prize for best dressed but turned back into our old selves at the decent time of 9:30 p.m. We were in the Not-So-Newlywed Game show and got last place! Can't win at everything, I guess. See here for some pictures.

Virgin Mimosas

Because I am always thinking about how to make my days as a stay-at-home mom more exciting and creative, I bring you the virgin mimosa. There is something about drinking my beverages out of a wine glass lately that makes me feel normal; not the tired, boring mommy who just wants to get in a good nap and and type an uninterrupted email, that I am really feeling like. I bought some orange juice at the store the other day. Not something I normally do because, let's face it, real oranges are much cheaper and do just as much good as the juiced stuff. But, I was feeling a tingle in my throat and I thought I would reward myself with some orange juice in a glass. When I poured my first glass I realized I also had some Diet Hansen's (made with Splenda, Tangerine-Lime flavor) in the fridge. Oh, that might be sort of fun, I thought. And it was! It was fizzy and sweet and drinking it out of the wine glass added the perfect touch. When life gives you lemons, make Lemon-lime-tangerine Mimosas!

Change of Plans

At first I was tentative about our Tahoe trip, but then I got really excited thinking about all the quality time Ryan and I would have together. After Sage's first asthma incident we were still thinking of going, although I was pretty hesitant. If the next two nights go fine, we thought, then it would seem safe to go. Then Sage woke up with wheezing the next night again (Sunday at 4 a.m.). Okay, so no Tahoe trip. But we thought it would be fun to at least go to lunch and a movie on Monday, assuming that Sage would be getting better by then. Then Sage was up all night with a hacking cough Sunday night and her fever continued through Monday. Alas, we made the doctor appointment to give me peace that there wasn't anything else we should be doing to help Sage. He mentioned that we shouldn't be too quick to use the term asthma and then mentioned something about a bronchio spasm. Yes, continue to give Tylenol and Advil for the fever but other than that, this is a viral infection and it just needs to run it's course. Before the doctor's appointment we were thinking, "okay, maybe just lunch today." After the doctor's appointment, and after the lack of sleep from the night before set in, we opted for a nap at home; no movies, no lunch. There will be other times for getaways I guess. It's just funny (maybe not so funny) how completely opposite our weekend turned out to be. So, please continue to pray that Sage's body would quickly fight the infection and that we would all get some much needed sleep!

Great Advice

I read in a magazine that when administering medications to your children you should use a white board eraser pen to jot down the times & doses on your bathroom mirror. That way, when you wake up at 1 a.m. you can glance at the notes and know if you should dose your child with more "yummy grape stuff." I remember sort of laughing at the idea; like, why can't you remember the time you gave your child his medication? Sage had an asthma attack a couple of nights ago and she is also battling some sort of infection since she has been running a fever of 104. My mirror reads:

• Ibuprofen: 11 pm
• Tylenol: 9 pm
• Albuterol: 5 am
• Nebulizer: 11 pm

I get it now. No laughing involved.

SMART SPIN

I didn't even know the name of this marvelous organizer until just seconds ago. My mom bought me a SMART SPIN for my last birthday (almost a year ago). You have seen the infomercial; A lady opens up her cupboard and all of her mismatched tupperware falls right in her face. Yeah, that one. I started using the containers but hadn't fully realized the beauty of this gift until I finally took the base/spinner thing out of the box, handed it to Ryan and said, "Here, put this together." Part of the delay in putting all the pieces together was an overcrowded pantry, hence, no room for the spinner. Somehow the kids were distracted enough during the week and I rearranged everything to make room for the SMART SPIN. All I can say is that I wish I would have done it a year ago. It really does make my life a little easier.

Crunchy Curry Chicken

Like I have admitted, I am not the best cook. I am trying to make some new dishes lately and in an attempt to do so, I picked out a recipe from my slow-cooker cookbook: Curry Chicken. And what goes better with curry chicken than fluffy white rice? After the curry chicken looked to be almost ready I started the rice. I usually make Persian white rice by adding oil and yogurt, but I was in a hurry, so it was just water and rice this time. Oh, and I cut down the amount of rice I usually use; 2 cups instead of 3. Note to self: never try to wing it unless you are a gifted, all-knowing cook. About 15 minutes later the rice looks done so I yell, "Dinner's ready!" We all serve ourselves up some rice and curry and sit to feast on the great smelling food. Ryan starts to eat his ... Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! is all I can hear. He says, "Didn't use the yogurt this time, huh?" Offended and irritated I bark back something like, "Why, what's wrong with it?" (meanwhile I haven't yet savored a bite yet). I take my first bite ... Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Okay, if there's nothing better than fluffy white rice to accompany chicken curry than there is nothing WORSE than undercooked crunchy rice to accompany this dish too. Ahhhhhhh! After I crunched through my bite I started laughing ... "The rice isn't cooked all the way through, huh?" Ryan looks at me, we both laugh again. Note to self: next time do what works. P.S. The curry was actually pretty decent.

Okay, I'll let you know ...

Just because two of you requested it, I am going to reveal what got crossed off my to-do list. Drum roll please .... "Put paid bills away." Exciting, isn't it? Ever since we moved in with my mom-in-law I have kept our paid bills in Von's bags. It has almost been two years since we have lived here and I was getting tired of the bags. In order to put the bills away, however, I had to clean out and organize our file cabinet. So, while I did put all the bills away, I gained another item on my to-do list because I need to shred all of the old documents I had to toss-out while reorganizing the filing cabinet. Go figure.

Naked

I have been walking and running while pushing a jogger with at least one kid for almost three years. But today Aspen went down for a nap and Sage opted to stay home with dad and play blocks (ever the competition) so I went solo. First off, it took me only 30 seconds to get out of the house. Locate sunglasses, got it! Locate Ipod, got it! This is drastically different from the 20 minutes it usually takes me to dress the kids, fill sippy cups and pack enough snacks for a week's worth of camping. It felt really funny walking down the driveway with my hands completely free. I didn't even take the dog. I felt naked. I actually had the notion that people would look at me funny for going for a walk all by myself. Like, who walks by themself? I used to do it all the time before I had kids but there was nothing familiar about it this time. Don't get me wrong. It was an amazing run. I was only interrupted by myself to turn the Ipod volume down. No cries of, "I don't want to go on a walk!" Or, "more snacks please!" And yet, it was a bit lonely kind of boring. Won't even start to imagine what it will be like when the kids leave for college ...

No More Nog

We are down to just drops of Silk Nog in our refrigerator. Ryan is sad. We finally got the Christmas decorations put away, thank you cards written and Christmas cards removed from the front door. I can see how people leave their decorations up year-round. Tangent -- Kate asked Sage if she liked peppers on her pizza, she responded, "Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't." And lately, she has to "think" about everything. I tell her she needs to open her door so Aspen can come in. She responds, "I'm gonna think about it, mom." Think about it? I hope I get a lot smarter with age because I am going to need some creativity to keep up with this girl. Another tangent -- I am a list maker. I make lists for EVERYTHING. So, of course, I have a long-term goals list and a daily, short-term goals list. And, I say with much pride, that I actually crossed something off my long-term goals list. It felt amazing -- not the actual crossing off, but just getting something done that has been hanging over me forever. I'll spare you the boring details of the task that I completed.

Sisters on the Farm

Went to the farm today. Aspen wanted to eat the bread that we were throwing to the chickens. And she got a few bites, at least. Sage chased the "mama" duck because last time the duck actually sat down so Sage could pet her. No luck this time. We chatted with the horses and then brought the eggs in for grandma. Do we live on a farm? Some would say so. Then we played in Sage's pink car for a while and took a couple of "trips to the zoo" via our wood boat (imaginary for those of you who don't have kids). It was almost a perfect morning until Sage had a meltdown over a missing sponge duck that she just started playing with yesterday and that was given to her probably before she was born, and, of course, the sponge duck had to take a bath with us. I couldn't find the sponge. Yup, lots of screaming and tears ensued. A fun day despite the tears. Here are some pics.

New Woman - Part II

I didn't even know there would be a part two to this blog, but there just is. A few blogs ago I wrote about hunger and Michaela asked me via her comment if I meant spiritual hunger or food hunger. I felt a little convicted -- I had not even thought about spiritual hunger since I was so focused on my vegetable intake. But today I have spirtual hunger. My women's group met for a training day this morning to usher us into the new year and introduce the study we will be going through over the course of the next 8 or so weeks. And I am excited! I am ready to get back to daily and/or weekly Bible reading; challenging my spirituality and walk with the big guy. I am hungry to learn from others and fellowship with my mom's group. I am a new woman today -- with not just a clear nose but a beating heart also to learn more about my purpose here on Earth.

New Woman

I hate being sick but man do I love the day the sickness has turned for the better and you don't have to blow your nose every two seconds anymore. There is something so great about breathing clearly through your nose. And it's always the case that I don't realize how great a clear nose is until it's all stuffed up and redder than any red thing you have ever seen. And tender too. But alas, the sniffles are gone and I feel like a new woman, ready to take on laundry, cooking, cleaning and playing ponies. I am even a little excited to go to the gym in the morning. Yes, a new woman indeed!

Happy New Year!

The last few weeks have been wonderful and hectic. Let's see ... where should I begin? We made it through 4 Christmas celebrations. Sage's favorite gifts so far: Soaky Dokie (a large my little pony that can go in the shower) and a small stuffed animal penguin (it's a "baby" penguin, of course). Then Ryan left the day after Christmas for a youth snowboard trip to Utah. He was gone for 5 days (felt like eternity, of course). The highlight of those 5 days ... going to Boccalli's with my dad and the girls. He came and picked us up in his truck, treated us to fabulous Italian food and then drove us home. Ryan came back just in time for us to celebrate the new year (don't even think we stayed up past 10pm). We watched a little bit of the Rose Parade on New Year's Day and then packed up the kids in the car and headed up to some local mountains for a hike. We were surprised to see snow all over the trees and ground. As soon as Sage got out of the car she ran over to the snow, scooped some in her hand and took a bite! The following day we packed up the kids again and went to Pismo beach with my dad. I caught a cold the first night of the trip and Aspen didn't sleep that well at night, but besides that, we had a great time. Ryan and I got to take the quads out in the dunes ... that was worth every bit of sniffle and lack of Zzzzzz that comes with camping with kids under the age of 3. We got home on Thursday night, just in time for my dad to rush off and meet Jorgia, our new baby niece who was born on Wednesday night. Hopefully my Rudolf nose is gone by tomorrow so we can go and meet her too : ) Here are some photos from our adventures.

4 Days Till Christmas

We went shopping today (Sage, Great Grandma and I). The mall was insanely busy. I had a gift certificate to See's and I really wanted to use it, so I waited the 30 minutes (or was it more?) to get my pound of chocolates. Everyone in line was in good spirits despite the long wait. I was surprised by this. Earlier in the week Sage and I went to Starbucks to get some gift cards and the barista was handing out free samples of Caramel Hot Cider. Sage's eyes got really big when she saw the whipped cream drizzled with caramel sauce. We sat and enjoyed our drink but Sage sort of freaked out when the whipped cream was gone. I said something about apple juice and she looked at me with eyes that screamed, "Why did you ruin my drink with juice? I don't want juice!!" I coaxed her into trying the cider and she took a few sips and then pushed it aside. The whipped cream was great though. Later in the week we took a trip to the zoo and rode the train for the first time. That was a real treat. So, Christmas is 4 days away and many things have been crossed off my checklist: buy presents, wrap presents, order, address and mail Christmas cards, go grocery shopping, remind Sage that Christmas is about Jesus, clean bathrooms. But still, some tasks remain: finish wrapping presents (okay, not totally finished), go to the store again (need more food), clean bedroom, clean kitchen, mop floor, wash all linens and towels, continue to remind Sage that Christmas is about Jesus, and get some sleep. Speaking of wrapping gifts, my sister-in-law did the neatest thing. Instead of using Christmas labels or Sharpie pens (like us) to label her gifts, she put a picture of the recipient on the top of the present. I LOVE this idea. The kids can pick out who gets what present. Genius. We were asked at church last Sunday what our favorite things about Christmas are. Gift giving is at the top of my list, followed by family time and food. I can't wait to see everyone open their gifts this year. I thought I was over counting down for Christmas but I can't help but feel a sense of excitement for the weekend events to come.

On Cooking

Okay, so I am not the greatest cook. I am not even a great cook. But somehow I slap food onto a plate and we all get full enough until the next meal-time comes and I whip something else up to appease our hunger. My latest venture in the cooking world has been pan roasted vegetables. I am actually pretty impressed with how well the veggies taste. Then I made Holly's "man-balls," (meatballs) for homegroup the other night and all but a few balls were left over. So, feeling good with this cooking thing I decided to make some no-bake cookies. Basically you boil some ingredients, add some oats and drop them onto wax paper to cool. It has been a couple of hours and mine are still wet, sticky globs; no hardening happening here. So what is an amateur cook to do? Throw them in the freezer and harden them up! Someone once said it's not the circumstance that makes you, it's how you deal with it. Freezer it is.

Trimming the Tree

Tonight we went to Grandma Cheryl's to trim her Christmas tree. Sage remained interested in the event for close to 10 minutes. She placed the ornaments on the tree in clusters; all the apple ornaments had to be close to one another because they are "friends." After she positioned some apples and santas on the tree she moved onto feeding and putting her baby doll to bed. Aspen wanted only to touch and eat the ornaments, of course. That's why we only visit Christmas trees at the grandparents' houses. They are beautiful and all but I don't know how many times I could say "no, don't touch," or "no, don't eat that," before I would completely loose it. Here are some pictures.

Christmas Lights

I love roaming around neighborhoods to check out the different Christmas light decorations. We kept saying that we were going to go and then something would come up. But tonight we had the perfect opportunity. Aspen was inconsolable from whatever it is that was bothering her and Sage was whining about this, that, and the other, so we decided to pack them up in the car and go "exploring for reindeers," as we told Sage. At first we were pointing out all the giant snowglobes and Santas. By the end of our journey, however, Sage was yelling, "Stop! Wait a minute! I see a reindeer!" Needless to say, it was a great adventure.

Hunger, Part 1

I am seriously questioning what it means to be hungry. A few weeks ago I set out to eat just what I needed to eat. I followed the pyramid, passed on taking second helpings and traded vegetables for starchy snacks (and this is big since I don't really eat vegetables). I was definitely eating enough and yet I felt hungry most of the time (except for when I had the flu, of course. That helped, I guess). So then I started thinking, what does it mean to "feel" hungry. Do I know real hunger? Is this how I am suppose to feel all the time? Hungry? I haven't quite figured this all out, as you see. However, I am beginning to think that my understanding of hunger is way off. I don't even know when part 2 of this discussion will happen, but I thought I would throw this hunger stuff out there since it is something I am struggling through. Any thoughts?

Emerging

I never pray so earnestly to God for deliverance than when I am puking out my guts and pooping uncontrollably. It is in these moments that I am literally brought to my knees. Needless to say, the last few days have been anything but fun. However, I am emerging from the flu epidemic that has past through our family and it looks to be like I will survive. It was questionable there for a moment.

Glass Half Empty

Okay, it's been a week since my last post and I really hope that you haven't deleted me from your favorites already. But, in my defense, this past week has been crazy. Here is a little snapshot of the craziness ....

Have you ever tried to reason with a 2 1/2 year-old? I left Sage's sleeping buddies at my mom's house (penguin & bunny) and this is how things went down as I tried to put her to bed:
Sage: I want my penguin!!!! (screaming at the top of her lungs)
Me: Hunny, mommy left your penguin at grandma's house, so we can't get it until tomorrow.
Sage: But I want my penguin!!! (red faced, big cry)
Me: Sweetie, I know you want your penguin, but it's not here right now.
Sage: I want my penguin!!! (lots and lots of tears now)
Me: Look, we have one of your bunnies (it's a back-up bunny, identical to the other one). At least we have one of your bunnies. Thank goodness mommy kept one bunny at home so you can sleep with it tonight. (don't you see how thoughtful I am and how lucky you are???)
Sage: Maybe grandma can get my penguin.
Me: No, grandma is at home and she can't bring us the penguin. I am sorry. Let's be happy we have one bunny. (Really Amber, "let's be happy??")

Okay, so it wasn't the best attempt, and my mom laughed really loud when I retold her my story to which she sarcastically responded, "Doesn't she understand the glass is half-full?" Nope. Ryan is heading over there tonight to pick up the animals just in case I hear cries for "the penguin" in the middle of the night. God knows there is no way I am going to be able to reason my way out of that one at 2 a.m. when all coping skills have exited the premises.

Change

I made a change today. Instead of putting dishes on the right side of the sink counter to dry, they now go on the left side. Okay, okay, I can hear your laughter, but this really is a matter-of-the-heart change for me. You see, a month or so ago Ryan expressed his desire to keep the right-side counter of the sink clear of dishes so that it wouldn't look cluttered. My compassion-filled heart responded (in my head, of course), "Well, he who does the dishes gets to choose. So I choose the right-side. It's what I have done for almost 2 years now." But today something was different. We decorated the house with our Christmas ornaments and items, set up Grandma's Christmas Tree for her and listened to Xmas carols most of the morning. Sometime after the decorating was finished, I decided the dishes needed to be done and just yesterday Ryan had been asking if we had a dish-drying wrack to put on the left-side of the sink. He had again expressed his desire to dry our dishes to the left of the sink. I had to do a little bit of organizing; finding a place for a basket of pens, putting away some cleaning supplies we keep to "the left," and putting the sippy cups away which have lived there for I don't know how long. But, after my heart was into the task, it was easy. I wonder how many other habits I am not kicking just because I am stubborn and don't want to change. I am sure I could list a few million. Guess I better take this change stuff one day at a time.

Smelly Cows

We made the long drive home yesterday, and man did those cows stink it up on the 5! I haven't smelt anything so bad in a long time. When we passed the last batch of cows I felt like we were stuck in a porta-potty with no way out! Sage was pinching her nose and almost in tears saying, "It's stinky, it's stinky," and Aspen was screaming at the top of her lungs, "Get me out of the car!" Ryan played DJ and we karaoke'd our way through the grapevine, singing at the top of our lungs, Sage looking at us like we were crazy while she was watching yet another episode of Dora. Our singing put Aspen to sleep and kept us awake enough to make it the last leg home. It feels good to be home, but I can't say that I don't miss the cabin, the snow, exclusive family time and everything else that comes with vacation. Well, time to unpack, do laundry, clean up after breakfast and do all those other things that come with being back home. Here are the photos from our trip.

I'm Dreaming of a White Thanksgiving?

Look what we woke up to!

Vacation within a Vacation

We haven't had Internet service up here in Tahoe, or so we thought. Ryan tried connecting while up in the loft of the cabin and he was able to get a couple bars, just enough to connect to the world. It's funny, we just had this conversation last night about how great it is to get away without cell phones ringing, emails waiting for responses and tasks luring over our heads. It's a true get away. But the generation X in us still wants to be connected to the world, I guess, because as soon as Ryan told me we had Internet service upstairs I became so excited! So, I am on "vacation," as Ryan puts it. He and Sage are playing video games on the new Wii he bought for church (he has to work it in and get used to it, right?) and I am taking a vacation upstairs. Life is good. It looks really cold outside, wind rustling through the ginormous pine trees, but we are nice and cozy in Grandma's mountain cabin. Later today we are going to venture out to get our family picture by the lake, maybe watch some ice skating in the Town Center and then come back to the cabin to enjoy one last night of our mountain vacation. Some funny things that have happened this trip ...

- We were (okay, Ryan was driving) to the store and took a turn really hard (we weren't lost though -- no way!) and Sage said, "Whoa! Like a roller coaster!"
- Aspen covers up her face with a blanket or whatever she can find and plays peekaboo with us.
- Sage is giving her my little ponies "time-outs" ... (oh gosh! Is that what I sound like?)
- I called Sage a little girl and she said, "Mommy, I am a big girl." And I said, "I know you are." And she responded, "But you called me a little girl."

Okay, "vacation" is over. Time to take a much needed shower. Hope there is enough hot water!

Drive to Tahoe

After two cups of coffee, one cup of tea, one really gross energy drink, a gazillion Dora shows, one viewing of The Little Mermaid (all scary parts neatly edited out by dad), one viewing of Curious George, 1/2 viewing of Cars, one stop at McDonald's, one stop at Togo’s, 2 stops to fill up gas (love the Element, don’t love it’s lack of a gas tank), one Rob Bell sermon and one reading of Parent’s Magazine (with very few interruptions!), we have arrived at Lake Tahoe. Leaving at 4a.m. proved, yet again, to be the solution for the 8+ hour drive to the mountains. Sage pretty much watched TV the entire drive and Aspen took one nap and then just hung out with only a few little outbursts of, “I AM SO BORED!” It is cold but not too cold here. Just enough cold to make it feel like winter is here and it’s actually okay to celebrate Thanksgiving now. A total tangent, but we bought these light-up rubber ducks at the store that can go in water and it is the best $5 I have spent in a long time. Sage and Aspen held one each on the way back from the store, and in the dark our car looked like a disco-teca. Sage calls us back to her darkened bedroom to see the ducks, “glow up,” as she puts it. Needless to say, we are having a blast!

Green Snot

Only a mom's blog could have a title like, "Green Snot." But that is what this week has been filled with. Oh, and seal-like barking coughs. Not Aspen as much as Sage, but one sick kid is enough. Ryan was sick too and then lost his voice from Thursday to Saturday ... the house was eerily silent. But, tomorrow begins a fresh new week. We are off to Tahoe for some much needed rest and relaxation. Wait. Did I just say, '"rest & relaxation?" Okay, so what I meant to say is that we are off on another adventure. We can seriously not fit one more thing in our little box of a car. I mean it. Sage's potty almost didn't make it, but we made room! Ryan is ever the expert car packer. Off we go to create more memories and take more pictures than we will ever know what to do with.

Get some tissue ...

I rarely read forwards. Mostly I delete them before even opening them. But I opened one today, and actually did more than skim the amazing story of a dad's love for his disabled son. Click here for the story and video. Get some tissues.

New Shoes

My mom gifted Ryan and I with a one-night stay at the Cliff House Hotel for my birthday last year. We decided it was time to use it and get away for a minute (which is what is it, right? Just a minute). After we dropped off the kids and their 10 bags of stuff and explained all of the eating and sleeping schedules, we were off! Our first stop, Camarillo Outlets. We did some personal(not "need" but "want" shopping) and Christmas shopping at our favorite stores and then went on to the Adidas Outlet. I go to the Adidas outlet not because I have always found the greatest deal, but because I am always happy with the shoes I find there. Since we didn't have the kids with us, this was an easy task. Ryan searched through all the womens shoes and brought me my size of shoe, all different prices, shapes and colors. Then we found some shoes on the sale rack, not a likely occurrence with a size 9 1/2 foot. I am always weary about the clearance rack. I mean, why are the shoes there in the first place? Regardless, I tried them on. They actually felt really good and they were color-designed for me, gray mesh with blue highlights (I think I have purchased this color shoe for about 10 years). These shoes were about $30. A steal! Then Ryan came around the corner with another box and said, "These shoes are only $17. You could buy 3 pairs of them!" Yeah, and run to the end of our driveway and they would be worn out already. Reluctantly, I tried on the "cheapy" pair. But they weren't cheapy at all. They felt great too. So, with two boxes of shoes under my arm, we headed to the check-out. The man at the register rung the total and said, "$36" and some change. What? Come to find out my $30 pair of shoes were actually only $17 too! A deal of the century! I love shopping experiences like this one!

Needs Vs. Wants

I had a run-in with my wardrobe today, or really, lack of desirable wardrobe. We were getting ready for my sister-in-law's 30th birthday dinner and every item of clothing I tried on was either too pilly (is that a word?), too stretched out, or just plain too out of style! Don't let me lead you astray, I have many clothes, and I can even squeeze into most of them despite leftover lovehandles from two pregnancies (thank you Sage & Aspen). But today I felt like I needed to buy the entire Ross store and makeover my closet. I was actually really frustrated. Aspen probably became dizzy watching me go in and out of my closet as I went through various outfits, nothing of which satisfied me. The worst part was when Ryan tried to look for a shirt for me to wear and actually said, "Wow, you really don't have anything in here." I screamed inside, I need new clothes!

A few minutes later I was pouring some tea into a paper cup for the road and I couldn't help but smile at my clothing catastrophe, or so it seemed. What really do I need, I thought. I need food. I need water. I need shelter. And I need clothing to keep me warm. As I was coming out of my self-obsessed fog I thought of many things, but mostly of others who are in need of just the basics. And yet I have the basics, and God tells me he will provide for all my needs, and I still yearn and cry out for more. So what does this mean for me? For me it comes down to perspective and verbage. Perspective: I have clothes. Are they clothes I love? No, but I have clothes. Verbage: I would love to (instead of, "I need to") buy more clothes, when, if at all, that is possible in the near future. Okay, that's better. Now I can sleep without worrying about all those clothes I need to buy!

Normal Day

Today I made breakfast, ate breakfast and cleaned up after breakfast. Then I made lunch, ate lunch, and cleaned up after lunch. Then I made dinner, ate dinner and cleaned up after dinner. There were many fun moments in between. Like when Sage decided to put her toy turtles to sleep in the back room and we had to whisper for close to 30 minutes while they slept. And then we got a good chuckle when she asked, "May I have more Diego please," in response to us trying to teach her "may I," instead of "I want," or "Milk!" I am thankful for the fun moments that somehow erase the monotony of the day.

3-Tea Bag Day

I thought today was going to be a 3-tea bag day. Allow me to explain. Shortly after we moved in with my mother-in-law, I was converted to Lipton tea from coffee. Shortly after Aspen was born, and no doubt due to many sleepless nights, I added another tea bag to my normal one-tea bag cup of tea. I was tempted to add yet another tea bag to my tea this morning. Aspen was awake from 10:30pm to 12:30 a.m. last night. Sage woke up at 4a.m. because she had lost one of her bunnies. Then Aspen woke up for the day at 6:30 a.m. After Sage woke up at 7 a.m. I loaded up the kids in the jogger and went for a nice long walk, a break for me and fun for the kids (I think). I prayed to God, "Help me be the mom you want me to be today. If I get through today it is by your strength only." And what a mellow morning we have had. Aspen took a 2hr nap, Sage has gone potty all by herself 4 times (that = 8 candycorns), and I was actually able to get the dishes done (they were starting to stink up the kitchen!). I guess I didn't need that 3rd tea bag after all!

Life As Sage Sees It

Sage loves taking pictures lately. She asks for Ryan's camera phone and clicks away! She even arranges her animals to set them up for their portraits. It's refreshing and funny to see the world through her eyes. We take pictures of sunsets, she takes pictures of Care bears. Click here to see her first portfolio.

flickr

Running the Race Together

This morning I was Moira Kelly in The Cutting Edge as she races to the practice rink only to find that her skating partner has beat her to the punch. I arrived at the gym sometime before 6 a.m. to see my workout partner (okay, my mother-in-law) going strong on the elliptical trainer, already breaking a sweat -- aka -- I was way behind her this morning! Beyond running a little late this morning, I couldn't help but feel thankful to have a partner to greet me as I walked into the gym, sleep still crusted in my eyes.

We are going through The Blessing of Friendships in our women's Bible study right now. The first chapter teaches about our need for human relationships, dependency on others and having at least one person to whom you can bring your baggage to, open it up and sort through it all. I am reminded of the Wonder Pets' theme song, "What's gonna work? Teamwork!" Isn't that the truth? We need others to encourage us when we are down, laugh with us when we are up and be quiet with us when there is nothing left to say. We also need others to gently confront us when we have gone astray. And it isn't just one way. We should reciprocate these actions to our friends when the need appropriates it.

The apostle Paul, author of many letters in the New Testament, ran the good race. But he clearly did not run it alone. It seems he, at most times, had others around him, supporting his mission. And he, without a doubt, helped others through his teachings and admonishments to strip away their old self and instead, clothe themselves in Christ's attributes.

I couldn't make it to the gym every Monday and Friday by myself. Knowing that my mother-in-law is waking to her bleeping alarm clock just as early as I am encourages me to roll out of bed, throw on my clothes and head off to the gym. But next time I'm not going to snooze!

A Few of My Favorite Things ...

Have you ever had or have a product that you absolutely love? My sister and I were just talking this morning about the special holiday products that show up on the shelves during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her favorite, Coffee Mate's Pumpkin Spice flavored coffee creamer. My favorite, Silk's Soy Eggnog. Last year we only bought a couple 1/4 gallon cartons, but this year we know better. I am going to stock up! Aside from special holiday products, I have my favorite everyday products too. Here are just a few ...

1. Trader Joe's (TJ's) version of Yobaby Yogurt. Comes in a 6-pack and a variety of flavors. The vanilla flavor tastes like ice cream! And even more, it's about $.50 cheaper than the Yobaby brand.
2. Vanilla Almond Breeze milk. I am lactose intolerant, and even soy milk can upset my stomach, but this creamy milk is too good to be true.
3. Oregon Chai "The Original Chai Tea Latte." I love that I can make my own chai treat at home w/out the hassle of going to Starbucks with kids and can save a bundle too!
4. TJ's Strawberry Yogurt O's. Cheerios, but better and heartier.
5. $10 step stool from Target. Sage can brush her teeth and wash her hands without me having to hold her up. It also doubles as a bathside seat.

These are just a few things that have been making my life sweeter and easier these days. God is really way too good to us. Really, Soy Eggnog for the lactose intolerant? It doesn't get any better than that!